I'm watching the Tigers-Yankees game and I'll be typing whatever jumps into my head as the game goes along just for some shenanigans and giggles, should be a good time, for me at least.

Joe Buck, during the open of the Tigers-Yankees game, introduced himself and then promised Tim McCarver would be joining him in a second. What would happen though if after Buck said that McCarver just dropped dead on the spot, what then? Am I a terrible person for thinking this? I'm leaning towards yes. OK, so I'm not so terrible, what if McCarver just lost his voice instead, would that be better? I'm thinking yes on this one.

I've just been told that Chin-Mein Wang has the best sinker in the majors. I think Brandon Webb just called Derek Lowe and said "Can you believe this s**t?"

Is the fire thing really neccessary if a pitch hits above 95MPH? Why does Fox find it neccessary to put all these extra gadets and such in their broadcasts? Remember the light up puck from that had a comet like tail behind it when it was shot? What I tried to make a point about something while referencing hockey? Yeah, that was a lost cause.

Is the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket in the new Texas Chainsaw Massacare movie? Really? Really? All I can ask is how long is it since that movie was made, 19 years? I didn't know you could strech a sh**ty career that long.

I love the fact that McCarver reads what shows up on the scouting report verbatum. Why say it and put it in writing and say it, what purpose does this serve? Am I nitpicking cuz I don't like McCarver that much? I think so, and I think I don't care.

They just showed two women wearing chef's hats and I couldn't figure out why, then it dawned on me, Garry Sheffield was batting, chef...Sheffield...sometimes I hate people.

If I just walked in the room while Joe Buck was talking about Gary Sheffield I could have sworn he had a crush on him.

Dammit, I should have started a running count on how many Prison Break promos Fox will air during the game...I supposed I could start now....that makes 1.

Magglio Ordonez made it into 2nd with a double...I really thought his hair was going to limit him to a single. Speaking of his hair, can't Fox photoshop some hair onto the graphic they just used of him? He doesn't even looked the same. Please Fox, use your technology for good, not the pitch readings bursting into flames.

***Skip this next bit if you don't understand baseball...or don't skip it it you want to be confused***
What's Chris Shelton doing right now do you think? He starts off the year hitting .326 with 10HRs 20RBIs 3-3Bs while slugging .783 with a 1.186OPS in April. He finishes hitting at .273 with 16HRs 47RBIs 4-3B's while slugging .466 with a .806OPS...major ouch. And to kick it all off, he's not even on the postseason roster....which begs the questions, what's he doing right now? Drinking heavily would be my guess.

Since we're all from America and most people can't find the Dakotas on a map they have to show us where Taiwan is, who else is proud to be an American.

McCarver just used the word wicked...I will now discontinue using the word wicked in my everyday vocabulaary.

How pissed would be is you got stuck in the seat behind Patrick Ewing...actually if it's a Yankees fan it's ok...I hope the guy is like 5' 2"...hell I hope it's some one like the guy who plays Turtle on Entourage...hell I hope hope it's the guy who plays Turtle on Entourage.

Do you think Joe Torre could snort an entire 8-ball of cocaine through one nostral in one huff...I think it could happen. While we're on a nose tangent, I wonder if Jorge Posada had his nose broken if it would make him better looking.

Side comment on the comment from above...the Torre joke isn't meant to be a jab at Torre, I like Joe Torre, think he does a good job as a matter of fact, just how can ignore nostrils that size. If Jim Leyland had the big nostrils then the joke would be about him. But alas he has not such physical features and how do make fun a of guy who apparently smokes more than a chimney? Oh wait, I think I just did.

The Tigers win 95 games this season, they springboard way ahead of everyone in their division, and they end up going into the postseason by getting swept at home by the Royals, losing five straight (very bad if you don't follow baseball) and now Jim Leyland says he's going to be doing unconventional things, different things than they did during the season. Nope that's not a sign of a manager that's worried about his team scuffling. Nope, messing with everything you did over a 162 game season while your team enters the playoffs in a skid, that's certainly not the sign of a manager who's worried...or a really good manager.

This isn't connected to much of anything, but how the hell did the Devil Rays end up with a worse record than the Royals? Granted it was only by a game and granted they are the Devil Rays, but damn, that really hurts. All 19 Devil Rays fans must be really pissed...except for Dick Vitale, he would be happy if he were getting mugged, but talk bad about Duke to him and well lets just hope you're not too attached to your spleen.

Jeter almost hit himself in the head doing his fist-pump...I've got nothing aside from the fact that he almost hit himself in the head...it would have been really funny.

Tim McCarver just made a point comparing two things, but said they were different situations...so essentially he admitted he was a point that was useless....why can't I contradict myself and get paid for it?

Derek Jeter, score first then clap, no clapping and then score...fundamentals man...when's he gonna learn the fundamentals and intangibles.

I just blinked and the Yankees are up 3-nothing....and the Tigers are being poached.

McCarver just mentioned the thing with the chef's hats after they showed those people in the hats again...then he made a joke about it...I don't know what the joke was though as I was too busy jamming my fingers into my ears so I wouldn't hear the crappy joke I knew was coming.

I was just informed by the good people at Fox that every member of the Yankees line-up has made at least one all star game...in fact the only person not to make multiple ones is Robinson Cano....and he's been in the league for two years, so yeah, I'll light myself on fire now.

5-0 Yankees on a two run shot by Giambi...that seals it, if the game doesn't get closer I'm watching Law & Order SVU at 10.

A-Rod just singled and there's no one out in the inning...is there anybody warming in the Tigers bull pen yet....does Jim Leyland know that this is the playoffs?

Someone just got up in the Tigers pen...apparently Leyland heard my keystrokes.

Can we outlaw all the pads batters can wear on the elbows so they can crowd the plate? Please? This is coming from a die hard Red Sox fan who watched David Ortiz dismantle such body armor every time he is walked. Get rid of the pad then stand over the plate.

Speaking of people with pads on their arms, why do I have this sinking feeling that Barry Bonds will end up with the Yankees. I don't know why I feel this, I just do. After hitting into a wall of wind in San Francisco, plus up like a 25 foot brick wall in right why wouldn't he want to hit pop flies into the short porch in right? And why if he goes there do I feel he would get hooked into the rejuvenation machine and and hit like 50+....sometimes I hate sports.

Tino Martinez by all accounts is a nice guy, I've got nothing against....but should people that work as analysts for a major network (like ESPN) really be throwing out the first pitch of a playoff game for his former team and be sitting in a luxury box as a guest of the team...strikes me as odd and not a something an analyst should be doing, but then again I'm 23 years old, have been searching for a job for over a year, living at home in my old room and I can't get to my closet because I don't have enough space for all the things I own, so maybe it is what an analyst should be doing...who knows.

Denzel Washington is at the game...so is Spike Lee...Patrick Ewing...Mayor Bloomber and Rudy Guilian....Trump...Regis...Dick Ebersol President of NBC....why does Fox keep showing me all these people, I don't care and I bet most other people don't care either so stop showing them. It makes me remember during the 04 ALCS in game three when the Sox were getting killed and they kept cutting away to Stephen King. I got it the first time they showed it....he writes horror stories and the game was like a horror story for Sox fans and even though I got it I didn't enjoy and I enjoyed even less during the subsequent 186,556,934 times they showed it, do these directors think they're funny or clever? I'm sorry I'm being cynical, I'll stop now.

How big are the boogers that come out Joe Torre's nose...they must be huge...the size at least of his thumb.

Why is there a thing called a dugout book sitting behind Joe Torre with a Tigers emblem on it, does this seem odd to anyone else?

It's 9:45...I think I may stop this go downstairs and watch Law & Order SVU while checking the game during commercials....seems reasonable right? It would have nothing to do with my sister needing the computer to do work, would it?

So after a touching story about Marcus Thames' career and being brought up by a mother who was paralyzed from the neck down since he was five, Tim McCarver lets us know that Craig Monroe's mother's name is Maralyn....I have nothing to say really because well, I'm at a loss for words.

Sean Casey reads the bible every day I've been told and is also a fan of wrestling....which Buck and McCarver just call rasslin'. Fox yet again enhances my viewing experience.

I'm tired of typing for the time being...if the game is still going after 11 then I'll come back and type some more, if not, well then I'm watching Seinfeld.