Simply because I have nothing better to do...

It's a Saturday night, so what am I doing this fine evening you ask? I'm watching sports and a lot of them. I've been watching the Colts-Ravens game on CBS while catching the tale end of the UNC-Virginia Tech b-ball game on ABC. Well when that game was finishing I found myself yelling at the TV a lot, mainly because of commentator Brent Musberger, so I decided to ramble while I watch. I'll be attempting to watch three games at once in my height. Currently, I watching the football game. At 7pm I'll be taking in the University of New Hampshire vs. Dartmouth hockey game and the Boston Celtics vs. the Detroit Pistons basketball game. Also, when the first football game ends, I'll be flipping around to the other game, Bears vs. Seahawks. it should be noted that I'm typing on my sisters laptop, so the typos in this entry should be off the charts.

- The third quarter has just concluded, it's the Colts ahead 12-3....five field goals is all the scoring we've got in this one and Peyton Manning should have been picked off three times today, but instead it's only been once. Ed Reed, who has the lone pic, had two other sure things deflected at the last minute by Ray Lewis....how sad. I pictured my Ravens fan friend Andy after both of those incidents and both times it involved a lot of swearing.

- Dan Deirdorf just mentioned former NFL referee Ben Dreith....Pats fans everywhere (myself included) just cursed under their breath...if you're a Pats fan (or Raiders fan) you know why....if you don't understand, well use some intuitive thinking and google and if you're not completely inept at life, you should find and answer.

- Ravens kicker Matt Stover kicks a field goal....12-6 Colts.....strap in we've got a barnburner.

- OK, so hockey is about to start, but should I instead be surfing to an outstanding Seinfeld episdoe. It's the Wink, the one where Paul O'Neil promises to hit two home runs in one game for a sick kid in a hospital so Kramer can get back a b-day card for George Steinbrenner signed by the entire Yankee team that Kramer took from George because George winked at him due to pulp from a grapefruit being stuck in his eye....and yes I recalled all that from the opening scene when Elaine gets a wake-up call. So the real question here is do you know anyone more sad than me? Didn't think so.

- Manning just tried to go deep and he got picked off again by Reed...it was a terrible throw by Manning and Ray Lewis was no where in sight so it was pretty much a gimme for Reed.

- Steve McNair just took a hit and I can't help but wonder what the feeling is like for Ravens fans everytime they see him getting up from the ground slowly and knowing that Kyle Boller is waiting in the wings....my guess is it's similar to the feeling Pats fans gets in regards to Tom Brady and Matt Cassel.

- Ravens pick up a long 3rd down....touchdown drive? One can only hope.

- I've just been welcomed to the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, New Hampshire.....I like being welcomed....makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

- Just flipped back to the football game in time to see Nick Harper intercept Steve McNair....goodbye TD drive....this feels like one of those games that neither team is winning, just that one team is losing more slowly than the other.

- Hockey is underway....and their sound went missing for a second, but now it's back....thought you needed to know.

- Back to foosball....just in time to see Manning get sacked....all kinds of exciting things happen when I tune back in....I'm going back to hockey for like five seconds after this to see if something fun happens again.


- Damn....nothing fun, just a com[letion to Ben Uetech.....other than saying Uetech that's not fun...commercial time...over to hockey

- Dartmouth just committed a penalty...4 on 4 hockey....we were told the penalty was a cross check even though the referee clearly signaled an interference.....granted I've only seen about 2 minutes of this game but UNH doesn't seem to be doing much of anything....not a good sign for the 4th Ranked team in all of college hockey....but then again you probably don't care do you? Yeah, that's what I thought.

- McNair got hit twice in the ravens last two offensive plays.....due to the fact the Colts had everyone covered....yeah I'm having trouble figuring out why the Colts defense has shown up two weeks in a row.

- In promoing tomorrow's Pats-Chargers game Greg Gumbel mentioned LaDanian Tomlinson and then said "I guess you could say he had a pretty good season?" Does he honestly think he's being clever? Or cute? Or witty? You're not funny Greg Gumbel, so please stop trying to to be.

- I switched back to the hockey game just in time to see it go to commercial....timing is everything.

- Dan Deirdorf just told me that Marvin Harrison switched sides....look for details in the next edition of "Out" magazine.

- Deirdorf just said, that you can't be afraid to put the ball in the air if you have Peyton Manning....I would generall agree, but has been watching Manning throw today? I would be afraid, very afraid if I were a Colts fan right now....good thing I'm not a Colts fan.

- Hockey game halfway through the first...appears I didn't miss much of anything as it's still 0-0....UNH just weent back on the power-play. We were again told it was a cross check when the referee signaled interference....I would say this is some kind of trend we're seeing, but of what?

- Colts are bleeding the clock to set up for a field goal that would essentially ice the game....I really don't want the Colts to win, I can't take another week of hearing about how great they are and how Manning finds a way to win and how this could be the year they win the Super Bowl and Manning enters the Pantheon of quarterbacks....my ears are bleeding just thinking about all the slobbering Sean Salisbury is going to do over this.

- Watching a game end like this feels morbid to me....you know what's coming, it's like watching a pet that's slowly dieing and there is nothing you can do to stop it.....unless the Ravens block the field goal or if the Colts holder pulls a Romo, well then all bets are off.

- Bets are on....kick is good....somewhere Andy just punched a hole in a wall.....I'm sorry Andy....where's Mike Vanderjagt when you really need him.....I also have to say it feels dirty listening to the commentators and talking about how Adam Vinateri is tying records for field goal kicking in the playoffs....seeing him do it as a Colt just feels plain wrong....criminal even.

- McNair is stripped....ballgame over.....and to prove that Karma is a bitch, the Colts are going to give up at least 30+ points either next week or in the gulp....Super Bowl.....no next week when the lose.

- Even though it's the murder captial of the US and more drugs move through it than a hospital pharmacy, I gotta feel for Baltimore right now. Not only did they just lose a home playoff game after a bye week, but they lost it to the Colts....a franchise they called their own for a long time, only to have them pack up and leave in the middle of the night....literally. A bunch of Mayflower moving trucks showed up and took all the stuff to Indianapolis one day. I'm trying to think of an analogy for this, but all I can give you is that it was a bitch move, so there's another reason to hate the Colts if you wish (It should be noted that the Ravens are the relocated Cleveland Browns, another team, well owner that spurned a loyal city and rabid fan base in search of more money....no real point hear, just warrants mentioning.)

- Hockey game goes into first intermission at a 0-0 tie....riveting action.

- Time for the Celtics game....I hope that don't suck too hard tonight. The oldest player on the floor for the Celtics right now is Ryan Gomes and he's 24.....yup that's right, no one in the Celtics starting line-up can rent a car right now....conversely the Pistons youndest starter I think is around 25 or 26.....this could be a long night.

- You have to love the NBA, it has to the only league that so blatantly gives calls ot established veterans over younger players. Granted there is some of this in other leagues, but not nearly the amount there is in the NBA. If you look at the wrong guy cross eyed in the NBA t's a foul....it'd be the equvalent to Curt Schilling throwing the ball two feet outsided and getting it called a strike....and yet I watch the NBA almost every chance I get.....yeah I can't figure out what's wrong with me either.

- During the hockey game's intermission there are some packagae pieces being shown....the last two years they did in studio highlights along with highlights from other sporting events. I would like to think they made the switch to doing things from the arena because the past two years I was around to help them with their editing of highlights back at the studio, but I know that's not even remotely the case, but it was fun to pretend for a second....remember when we used to get to pretend all the time? Yeah, those were good times.

- Halfway through the firste quarter Celtics 13 Detroit 11.....they have a lead....I'm not totally surprised....check in with me during the 4th quarter and if they have a lead then, well then I'll be surprised.....oh yeah the age thing from before....Celtics average age is 22....Pistons is 30.....the Celtics starting five contained four people that didn't go to college at all and came to the NBA straight from high school....the only college experienced played in the C's starting five? Ryan Gomes, who played all four years of his college career, something of a rarity these days.

- Is it a bad sign that the Celtics have a 20-16 lead right now, but I know just about when and how the Celtics will eventually lose this lead and fall into a double digit deficit? I'm thining yes, it's indeed a bad thing, though your view may differ from me.

- OK, we're going to watch five minutes of hockey game play or until our first commercial break, so we can get a feel for the game....current feel is there isn't much of one.

- Just had a shot on net from 50 feet out...that's the most exciting thing that happened so far....oh wait we just had a penaly....wait no we didn't....never mind....in fact just ignore the last 20+ words.

-GOAL!!!!!!!! UNH up 1-0. Puck in the corner, thrown to the front of the net, Jacob McFlicker some how deflected it in.....I know, you're now rivited to my every word....just told the UNH goalie has made 19 saves and the Dartmouth goalie has made 4....and UNH is leading 1-0....sports....one of two places in the world where logic is thrown completely out the window.

- Quick check of the b-ball game....end of 1st Celtics up 27-26...I hope they have more confidence in their abilities than I do.

- My night just might have been ruined. I flipped to Fox to see if the Saints-Eagles game had started yet and I saw Tony Siragusa was on camera. Just to set the record straight, I loathe Tony Siragusa and not just becuase I think any former football player who endorses twisted tea should have to turn in his gonads, but because he makes the most inane comments at the most inopportune time of the game and just annoys the hell out of me in general.

- Bad giveaway by UNH, Darmouth with a 3-on-1 and they convert it into a goal....and yes I will keep updating the hockey game as though you give damn and are waiting for updates with baited breath.

- Celtcs still scrapping....up 31-30....I wold have more things to say about that game if Tommy Heinsohn were doing color commentary on the broadcast as he recently had back surgery and can't travel with the team for a while. For those of you not familiar with his body of work, imagine if you had an overly cynical uncle or grandfather who thought that everyone was out to get your family. Well Tommy has been with the C's for over 50 years in some capacity (player, coach, commentator) and lets just say he has a slight hometown bias and a great deal of disregard for officials. As he gets older, he says crazier things, like last year when he said rookie Oriene Greene did some things that reminded him of Oscar Robertson....that's the equvalent of comparing.....well.....ok, here we go, it's like comparing rancid beef to a center cut Omaha steak.....both items are meat and that's where all comparisons should end. Just like Green is a basketball player and Robertson was and that's where the comarisons should end. It's fun to watch C's games just to see what Tommy will say,

- Celtics are down 36-33 right now.....the slide is beginning.....little earlier than I thought....well I think they have a mini run in them until the half....so the slide will come sometime in the 3rd quarter.

- There was just a commercial with Garfield an Odie for some kind of car dealership....I think.....Odie was riding around on a segue, one of those motorized scooter things....and they were both wearing pants, but no shoes or shirts.....I think I speak for everyone when I say, what?

- Time for the 13 year old in me to write something....there's a guy on Dartmouth whose last name is Swallow....hehe.

- Foosball game....score is 0-0....can't wait to see how many players Dick Stockton mis-identifies....my guess is more than Dick Enberg does and yet I still love listening to either of them do a game....speaking of Stockon....he's slowly creeping into the Pat Summeral stage of his career where he says as little as possible. I don't know if it's age or if he's been doing it for so long that he's tired ot talking....no real point, just an observation....Saints kick a field goal....3-0 'Nawlins.

- Back to b-ball....I definetly think that if I were 6' 9" I would look be built just like Tayshaun Prince....really tall and built like a sapling.

- Detroit as one of these really annoying PA announcers who overexaggerates the home players names and they add echo effects and other sound effects after a made baseket and he does this really annoying thing when the Pistons get possession of the ball. My point is, are we so needy as people, that we have to be entertainyed by the guy who is announcing the game? And why do they have announce every little thing? We can tell who scored the basket....just give us change of possesion and who the foul is on, please.

- The Jeff Garcia magic has to wear off this week, right? Isn't this the reverse to the Keith Hernandez corralarry when he says "I'm Jeff Garcia!" then he promptly finishes with 3 INTs and 153 yards passing while completeting like 18-41 passes? This has to happen, I'm convinced. Then again, I was convinced I'd have myself a full time job by now, so don't put too much stock into what I say.

- They just talked about the bigges reasone why Drew Brees is in New Orleans is because Sean Payton belived in him and his abilities and while that is true, it's only a partial truth becuase if Miami (cough *Nick Saban* cough) hadn't balked at him due to his surgically repaired right shoulder, Brees probably doesn't go to New Orleans.....speaking of Saban, how much would you pay to watch his first speech to his players at Alabama about committment and finishing what they start? If I were in the room I would laught so hard I would mostly likely rupture something.

- Tony Siragus just demonstrated soething about the offensive line and crowd noise and he somehow found a bunch of other fat guys for his demonstration....do you think he actively sought out a bunch of fat guys for that, or do you suppose that's his entourage?

- Some guy on the Saints just dropped a sure interception....apparently he was unaware of the fact that if you attempt to catch the ball with your hands instead of your shouldler, your chances of catching it will increase.

- Reggie Bush just broke off a filthy 20 yard run where he ran a sweep to the right, found nothing but tacklers cut it back to the middle of the field, danced through some tacklers and looked damn good doing. Somewhere all the Houston Texans fans watching this game just swore and threw something against a wall.

- Brees just completed a beautiful pass down the sideline to Devory Henderson that set up a first and goal....take the last sentence from the previous blurb abd replace "Houston Texans" with "Miami Dolphins"

- Hockey game....in the 3rd period still 1-1....it warrants mentioning that the last two years in this game the teams have combinded to score 27 goals in this game....including a 9-8 game two years ago....both of the gamewinners were also scored with less than a minute left in the last two years as well.....so while not exhilerating, there could be some time for excitement later on.

- The Dartmouth goalie has been out of position about 9,359 different times tonight and it hasn't bit him in the ass yet....and as I type this UNH scores on a 2-on-1 rush and ironically the Darmouth goalie was in a great position to cut down the angle ...just didn't shut the five hole.....irony wins again.

- Commercials I'm most sick of right now.
1. That Chevy one with the John Mellancamp song....I know it's our countrym please stop telling me.
2. That other car commercial with the song from the sound of music....you know the so long farewell one....it's such an effective add I can't even tell you what car company it's for becuase I change the channel everytime it comes on.

- I've missed some action in my surfing. i hit the Eagles game right after a 75 yard touchdown pass from Jeff Garcia to Donte Stallworth that puts the Eagles up 7-6 and then I hit the UNH-Dartmouth game right after Dartmouth nets the tying goal. That settles it, when I win the lottery, I having a bank of televisions so I can watch multiple games as once....or at least get a set with picture in picture.

- I've just been informed the Celtics haven't scored in nearly 3 minutes, but they're only down by 6.....never mind the Celtics just scored....my guess is you didn't care about that all that much.

- Haven't heard Tony Siragusa say anything stupid yet....then again, I change the channel every time he speaks, so that could have something to do with it.

- I wonder how much Andy has had to drink due to the Ravens loss today....my guess is a good deal....please remember you have only one liver my boy.

- Sonofabitch....I missed another TD in the foosball game....just to be safe I went right back to the hockey game just to make sure I didn't miss anything....13-7 Saints now.

- Right on cue, UNH scores a goal...I'm not right that often....feels good to be right....3-2 UNH.

- OK, so the Celtics are down by 2 and the foosball game is in the second quarter, so we'l be sticking with the hockey game till the end.

- I hit the period on the last sentence, looked up and UNH scored a goal two seconds later....this is starting to weird me out a little bit.....4-2 UNH with just over 3 minutes to go.....and yes, I know you don't care that much, but oviously I don't care that you don't care about what I care about typing about.

- Some guy on the Eagles wearing the number 84 just caught a pass.....does anyone else think Freddie Mitchell is incredulous right now because the Eagles let some one else wear his number? I hope so and then I hope someone chokes Freddie Mitchell with th bow tie he is most likely wearing.

- Final: UNH 4 Dartmouth 2.....now I only need to go between two games....hooray.

- Just switched to the foosball game and there is Peyton Manning in a commercial.....do you think he ever gets sick of seeing himself on TV?

-Jeff Garcia just scrambled for a first down after dancing around behind the line of scrimmage to avoid being sacked....if there were a couple of english police officers and a woman with a rolling pin in an apron running around with him it and the right music it could have been a Benny Hill sketch.

- Taco Bell just advertised a website called thebun.com......am I the only person that would fear typing that into my address bar just because it makes me feel uneasy? In unrelated news, Eagles TD....up 14-13....my friend Kristin (Eagles fan) has just resumed breathing now that the Eagles drive has concluded.....remember to breathe Kristin.

- Tayshaun Prince drove to the bucket, got fouled by Gerald Green and because Prince didn't land on his feet the right way, the officials called it a flagrant foul....this is going to be a future rant for a future day.....just wanted to give you a heads up and just know it won't be a happy rant.

- Just switched back to the foosball game....punter on for the Saints, go from the Eagles comes up the field untouched, so the punter instead of kicking it, tucks it and runs for the first down....impressive. I'm switching away before the Saints thriw it up into the endzone to end the half just to see if I can keep my exciting streak intact......and............OH DAMN! Marques Colston had it in his hands, hit the ground and the ball popped out....so close yet so far. 14-13 Eagles at the half.

- Inside 4 minutes in the Celtics game....they're only down 72-70....I might pass out sometime in the near future because of this game so if there is an entry that reads htjuihtmnv /gb/b/ji 2p9t39p afnj,d ,;jpyhpt9jtgjgkdksk, that means I've passed out on the keyboard.

- 2:07 to 75-70 Detroit....lets just say I've had a couple of headrushes........same score....1:25 to go.....I've just been told the Celtics needed a stop and then Flip Murray hit a three for the Pistons to go up 8 and that boys and girls will just about do it. I really hope the Pats win tomorrow because otherwise it's going to be an OH-fer weekend with the Bruins losing today and the C's losing tonight and last night as well and well if that happens, I just might be inconsolable.....I definetly spelled that wod wrong methinks and methnks I don't care.

- If the Celtics are going to win, they're going to need that 25 point basket from the MTV Rock n' Jock games to drop down.....damn no 25 point basket....Celtics fall 81-73.....boourns. One game left to go through.

- OK, please tell me that I'm not the only person who remembers the Rock n' Jock games, other than Dan Cortese that is.

- I just tuned into the foosball game and Brian Westbrook of the Eagles just broke a 62 yard touchdown run.....that settles it, I'm flipping between the football game and something else before every single play so the final score will be like 165-140 and the highlights will take up an entire Sportscenter.....in fact I'd better stop typing and switch away before the kickoff.....and Kristin, remember to breathe.

- Saints return the kickoff to the 37 yard line....OK, so it wasn't a huge play, but it's something right?

- Brees just completed a pass to a guy called Billy Miller, doesn't it seem like he should be called Bill instead of Billy. Billy should be wearing overalls and playing with his hotwheels cars in the sandbox and Bill should be playing football.

- Deuce McCallister just scored a touchdown for the Saints....it warrants mentioned he was stopped about three yard short of the endzone then in what can only be described as a giant clusterf**k of converged around him and the it appears the Saints cluster had more strength than the Eagles as it pushed in for the score. 21-20 Iggles.

- For every promo Fox runs for 24 that makes me excited they run another promo for American Idol that makes me annoyed.

-I'm talking with my sister so not much rambling.....Saints score on McCalister screen pass.....27-21 'Nawlins.

- Jeff Garcia just underthrew a pass that hit a Saints linbacker in the back of his helmet....his interception across the middle on a badly underthrown ball should be coming soon.

- My sister an I are talking and we just saw that there are new episodes of According to Jim still on ABC....which leads me to aks this question. If thirty years ago you were asked the question, "OK, you can only have one Belushi brother, which one do you choose?" Would anyone have said Jim? Would he even had said Jim? I'm not wishing death on anyone here, but I'm just saying given the option, how could anyone not have chosen John?

- I just looked at a clock and realized it's almost 11pm.....wow have I wasted a whole lot of time.

- Oh yeah, the Eagles kicked a field goal somewhere in all that mismash so it's 27-24 Saints.

- I love Christopher Walken in everything, I don't think I can make it through anything he does without laughing still, but ever since I saw "The Deer Hunter" my senior year of college I always wince a little bit when I'm done laughing.....don't get me wrong, Deer Hunter is a great movie, but man is it depressing.

- Another promo for American Idol and Siragusa chimes in "I don't know about you, but I like the worst better than I like the best." To which Dick Stockton replied "I don't waste my time watching that shit, I'd rather go suck on an exhaust pipe." OK, he really didn't say that....in fact that's what I was thinking inside my head, but I'm guessing you kinda figured that out.

- I just saw that guy from the Ford Commercials in an American Idol promo.....wait that's the guy that won the whole thing last time? Really? Are you sure? It wasn't just some big episode of Punk'd? Speaking of Punk'd (is that piece of shite still on?) if you have to hire actors to play jokes on people then well, to me it's not much of a joke.

- With every catch that Marques Colston makes, Wayne Chrebet moves one step closer to becoming the 2nd best wide receiver to ever come out of Hofstra.

- I really should have had dinner before I started doing this....no one wants to cook at 11 at night. If I lived in semi-civilization I would of course order food, but I'm pretty sure everything around what I live closes by 9pm at the latest. That means only one thing guess, ice cream for dinner.

- The sixth Star Wars movie....or is it the thrid one? Well the one where the kid becomes Darth Vader is on HBO again....can anyone tell me why I'm watching it while the football game is at commercial? Yeah I can't figure it out either. And while George Lucas gets plenty of dap for making the first three and plenty of crap for the most recnt three (though the third one wasn't too bad) why doens't he get more junk for Howard the Duck? Seriously, that has to be one of the worst movies ever made, just trust me.

- Reggie Bush just missed a pitch from Brees on a run play, Eagles recovered....lets see what they can do......well they've played themself into a 4th and 10....it's loud in the stadium as Sirgusa said he couldn't hear himself think....insert your joke about him thinking here.....Garcia completes a desperation pass across the middle for the first down.....uh-oh flag on the play, in fact it was no play, false start on the Eagles.....breathe Kristin....breathe...,.now it's 4th and 15th and the Eagles have to punt it away.

- 1:48 to go in thr game.....Saints have the ball....Eagles have two timeouts.....Saints get a first down it's done.....lots of Eagles fans have already begun wallowing in misery.

- I've just been told to watch Duece McAlister's determination but I don't know where to look....I'm also pretty sure that I didn't type his name correctly until just now.....whatever.

-Saints kneel it out and they move on to the NFC Championship game and there you have it.

And there you have it indeed, I just wasted a large portion of my night and you may have wasted a large portion of your day reading this, I apologize in advance. My condolences to Andy and Kristin for their team's losses today. I could possibly be joining you in your pain tomorrow and don't take this the wrong way, but I sure as hell hope not. That is all for now so until later.....