Go West Young Man

Two divisions to go and since the Atlantic is being saved for last we travel to it's geographic counterpart, the Pacific or as I like to call California and a friend, as four of the divisions five teams hail from the Golden state and two of them actually play in the same city. This division could toss out as many as four playoff teams and one that could be sniffing at a postseason berth, so let us not waste anymore time and travel west.

PACIFIC DIVISION

Golden State Warriors: He's baaaaaaaaack. Yup, Don Nelson is back at the helm of the Warriors twelve years after he left the team. Nellie coached the team from 1988 through 1994 (he didn't finish the season). He made the playoffs four times, advancing to the second round twice, but never further. He won 50 game with the Warriors twice and everything looked to be good when Chris Webber helped lead them to a 50-32 record as a rookie in 1993-94. Then he Nellie had a falling out, Webber was gone and Nellie was out partway through the next season. After stops in New York (yeah, I barely remember it either) and most recently 1997-2004 in Dallas, Nellie is back at it again. His teams always score, as evidenced most recently with Run TMC and Dallas who had a hard time defending folding chairs but could light you up like a Christmas tree. Well, it's a good thing he's into the offense because the Warriors can't defend much of anybody. Golden State gave up just under 100ppg last year. The only people that might warrant some mentioning defensively are Mickael Pietrus who can harass people on the perimeter and Adonal Foyle who can block a shot or two and has defied logic by somehow making it to his 10th year in the league. How does a guy who only has one skill (shot blocking) and he's not even that great at it stay in the league this long? I'm confused too, damn you Adonal Foyle. Nellie is famous for playing small ball and well that's where this team appears to be headed. Mike Dunleavy is projected to start at power forward....one word comes to mind there, yikes. Dunleavy is 6'9" which is power forward height...unfortunately he plays like he's 6'4". He's a shooting guard that has the bad fortune of being five inches taller than he should so he's played out of position. That being said, he can handle the ball fairly well and Nellie likes the whole "point forward" thing so maybe Dunleavy will have a break out year. I'm not saying it will happen, I'm just saying it could....then again a lot of things could happen, like me getting a job....the point here is not to get too far ahead of yourself. OK, moving on. Troy Murphy will be starting at center for this team, which isn't a total yikes, nor is it a cry for joy. Murphy's good for 14-16ppg and 10-12 rebounds which isn't bad. Thing is he's not really a center, he just plays one on TV (did I use this joke somewhere else in my preview? Methinks I did and methinks I'm too lazy to check so whatever). He live on the perimeter and not just mid range either. How many other centers do you know of that attempted over 140 3-point shots in a season (181 last year...148 the year before that). If you answered no one, well I'm pretty sure you're right. But again, in Nellie-ball, the centers usually have range and try to strech the defense. Murphy in a lot of ways is what a healthy kneed Raef LaFrentz could have been, except LaFrentz was better around the rim than Murphy in terms of finishing. Their stronges area is their starting backcourt of Jason Richardson and Baron Davis. Richardson is incredibly athletic, can finish on the break and has developed a good jump shot and he shoots a very respectable percentage (38.4%) from 3-point range. He can pretty much do everything offensively. He isn't great at creating a jumper off the dribble, but if he keeps improving like he does he'll have that soon enough. The key to the whole thing though is Davis. If he's in shape, healthy and doens't have an attitude about things then the Warriors could make a push for the playoffs. If he's not all of those things, well then enjoy watching Jason Richardson cuz there won't be much else to enjoy. Davis likes to run though and so does Nellie and Nellie also seems to find a way to turn his point guards (Steve Nash, Tim Hardaway) into All-Stars and since Davis is already of all-start caliber is should make things run well. Then again they could but heads and fight like crazy, but I'm going with history on this one and say things will work out, for a little while at least. The closest thing Golden State has to a post player is Ike Diogu, an undersized power forward, who in all honesty may get lost in the system the Warriors are putting in. Then again, the Warriors will need someone other than Murphy to rebound and Diogu can do that, so there's a chance for him. They could also have another good post player in Chris Taft who has a ton of ability. Unfortunately, his head is so far up his ass it's almost out his neck again, so don't count on much from him...unless his head is out of his rectum, then he could be a pleasent surprise. Another guy to watch off the bench is Dajuan Wagner. He was taken 6th by the Cavaliers in the 2002 NBA draft and injuries never really let him reach his potential and a serious medical problem had him out of the league all together last year. But he's had a good pre-season and he can certainly score so there will be a spot for him with the Warriors. So the deal here is if there's a healthy Davis and he's buying into what Nellie is selling then the Warriors could make a playoff push. I don't think they'll make it, but they could make things interesting at least. They still need a couple of pieces (better bench dpeth and a lil more defense and rebounding presence) and then they could make the playoffs. Don't count them out, but don't bank on counting them in.

Los Angeles Clippers: Since the Clippers have moved to Los Angeles in starting in the 1984-85 season, they have had two winning seasons. That's bad. The good part however is that last season was their 2nd and this year should be their third. Even better, they made the playoffs and went to the second round, taking the Phoenix Suns to seven games. So the Clippers are a joke no more and Elgin Baylor looks competant and no longer like a body dummy in one of Bill Cosby's sweaters from the Cosby Show. Sam Cassell was brought in last year and the Clippers started winning. No matter if you like the guy, you have to respect that whereve he goes, he seems to win. He'd definetly one of those guys you hate if he's on the other team and love if he's on yours. His attitude helped get rid of a lot of the ghosts of Clippers past and how can you not love a guy whole celebrates hitting big shots by walking down the court, mimicking that he's holding his huge balls? He's got the goods and he delivers, simple as that. And if for some reason he goes down, they've got themselves one hell of a back-up in Shaun Livingston. He's remarkably quick, can get to the rim, has a great handle on the ball and is an oustanding passer. Still needs to fill his body out some and develop his jumpshot, but this guy is going to be a perennial All-Star some day. There is also no defficency of offense from the wing positions. Cuttino Mobley will take his place at shooting guard. Not a great defender, but he's a decent defender and he makes an effort. He can also shoot the lights out when he gets hot and he has good range, always a plus. Cory Maggette will take the small forward spot and he too can fill it up. Good mid-range game, can hit the three ball when needed, plus he can take it to the rim and finish due to the fact that he can jump like he's standing on the moon instead of earth. Manning the middle is Chris Kaman who may be one of the goofier looking players in the league, but may also be one of the most under appreciated/noticed. Last season he average nearly a dozen points and ten rebounds a game. He doesn't posses anything incredible, he's just incredibly solid, gives a great effort night in and night out. He can play with his back to the basket a little bit, finish with either hand, plus he's a big guy who hits his free throws, what's not to love? In the power forward spot is one of my favorite players and if you ever watch the NBA he may become one of yours, Elton Brand. If the Clippers can challenge the Suns in the division he will and should get some serious MVP consideration. He has a good face up jumper and he's so quick around the basket it makes up for the height he gives up to taller power forwards. He blocks shots, rebounds and he plays the game without acting like a jack-ass. Basically he's everything you want in a power forward or NBA player for that matter. The bench will also provide some pop. Again, with Cassell healthy, Livingston will be coming off the bench, but the big key will be Tim Thomas. He had a huge playoffs last year with Phoenix and he translated that into a 4 year deal with the Clippers. He should provide them with a good offensive spark off the bench and in the event of an injury he could step into the starting line-up and fit pretty comfortably. Quentin Ross and James Singleton should also get minutes off the bench and should provide some defense when needed. The Clippers will be good that's for sure. They will have a hard time catching the Suns, but 2nd in the division should suit them and maybe if they're lucky they could land a top five seed for the playoffs. I'm also interested to see how many celebrities defect to the Clippers if they have another good season and if the Lakers suffer. Again, another way you can be entertained by the NBA and not actually be watching. Good things for the Clippers me hopes, they'll be fun.

Los Angeles Lakers: That's right, it's the other team in LA. OK, I say that only half jokingly. Seriously though with the new and improved Clippers, the Lakers are no longer by far and away the buzz team in LA. Don't get me wrong, they're still the buzz team, not just far and away like they used to be. The first thing everyone associates with the Lakers and with good reason is Kobe Bryant. He is the face of that franchise and one of the faces of the NBA. He'll be playing this season as number 24, a switch from his old number 8. Whether or not this move was made to try and confuse people into liking him better I do not know. Like or dislike the guy, he is one hell of a basketball player and it was most likely due in large part to him that they pushed the Phoenix Suns to seven games in the first round last year after they were down three games to one. It's also worth noting that Kobe completely mailed it during game seven and appeared to have as much interest in that game as a 12-year old with ADHD does in a calculus book. He really is an enigma. He takes a ton of shots and at times is selfish with the basketball, yet there is so little around him in terms of talent, the team essentially has to live with him chucking it up 30+ times a night in order for them to win. It's really just him and a bunch of role players, sounds like some other Phil Jackson coached teams that we know of. Of course if Lamar Odom gets a chance to assert himself on the floor a little bit more and does so, well then this team could have two guys that you would be forced to deal with. Odom is certainly a unique talent...6'10", has a great handle and can penetrate and pass. Problem is, he is most effective when he has the ball in his hands and Bryant constantly wants the ball in his hands and unless there is some new rule about there being two balls on the court this year, that could be a big issue. They survived last year, I'm curious about this year. Especially if Bryant misses some extended time with his injured knee and Odom asserts himself more on the court and how it will mesh when Bryant is back. Outside of those two the rest of the starting line-up would be better off being back-ups, but alas, with the Lakers they start. Chris Mihm would be a really good back-up center in this league, but he doesn't quite have the chops to be a starter. Mihm is actually injured right now and won't be starting the season so this will give Andrew Bynum a chance to show something. Bynum was taken by the Lakers last year with the 10th overall pick straight out of high school. While still a projec, he is intriguing and if he shows something while Mihm is hurt he could be in the starting line-up to stay. Kwame Brown, well if he's still in the league in five years color me impressed. Must have been tough though having your ego pumped up by being hanpicked by Michael Jordan number one overall then having the same man completely destroy your confidence. Smush Parker is their starting point guard and really, he's not a point guard because Odom and Bryant will be handling the ball so much. Vladamir Radmanovic was brought in to help boost the bench scoring and honestly, he's a pretty rugged player. He can certainly shoot from the perimeter and three point range, but he's also take it to the hoop a little bit. He'll be starting for them not too far into the season. Brian Cook will see some time at power forward, even though he's really a wing player in a big mans body. Luke Walton will also get some minutes as he fits well into the trianle offense with his passing skills. I'm curious to see how Jordan Farmarr, the rookie point guard from UCLA does. He plays hard there's no question there, but I've always felt he's a little overrated. His shot is suspect and he's not much of a defender, then again there's no better place to be than LA if your slightly overrated so maybe it will all work out. Playoffs for this team? It's possible if Bryant and Odom can coexist again and if Bynum develops into something down low that would certainly be a great push. I just don't see them anywhere in the top 6 in the west....then again I didn't see them getting to the playoffs at all last year, but somehow that all worked out. It's the Lakers though and you can always count on one thing with them, a soap opera at some point or another. Don't know what it will be or when it will happen, but you can pretty much bank on something happening at some point. It's a different world out there in LA LA land and the Lakers are more than happy to live in it.

Sacramento Kings: Oh Ronnie, where art thou five years ago? Seriously, when the Lakers and Kings were squaring off in the playoffs in seasons past the Kings could never quite get past the Lake show. What they needed was a hard nosed defender (sorry Doug Christie) who could harass the hell out of Lakers, Kobe in particular and show the Lakers that they had some balls and wouldn't back down. No offense to Mike Bibby, but he just wasn't scary enough to get that done. So while Artest is essentially 5 years to late to take them past the Lakers he could help get them to the postseason. Artest, acquired mid-season last year put a jolt into the Kings to help them reach the playoffs for the 8th straight season. Scarmento was 17-24 before Artest arrived and went 37-14 after he showed up. Not bad for a crazy guy. The scary thing for the Kings is that their season essentially hinges on Artest and whether or not he decides to be an up-right hard working NBA citizen or if he decides to be himself. I woldn't say it's reason be scared if your a Sacramento fan, just reason for caution. Mike Bibby will continue to be his solid, big shot hitting crunch time guy that he's always been. Did you know that Bibby has never made an All-Star team? Yeah, I find that odd too. Brad Miller holds down the center spot and he's so much fun to watch offensively and it's painful to watch him defensively. Miller has a great jump shot, can strech a defense and he's probably one of the best passing big men in the game today. That's the trade off you get for his defensive shortcomings, which are very bad. Kenny Thomas isn't much of defender either, in fact he's not much of a power forward but he usually puts fourth a decent effort and you always have to give it to an undersized guy who mans the 4 spot. Shareef Abdur-Rahim will give some scoring pop off the bench and not much else. Quincy Douby, a rookie from Rutgers will also be called upon supply some offense off the pine. The thing I wonder about is how some of the players will mesh with new head coach Eric Mussleman. Mussleman is a hard nosed defensive oriented get in your face type of coach. How that will go with guys like Bibby and Miller will be interesting. It should be noted though that he should have instant respect after getting arrested for DUI about a couple of weeks ago. So at least he can relate to his players because he too has been arrested (The NBA.....it's faaaaannntastic!). So if Artest doesn't go mental , the vets don't get pissed and if Mussleman can know when to say when, then the Kings will be intriguing. It's going to be a dogfight in the west (maybe they should sign Qyntel Woods) for the last couple of playoff spots and it's a fight I think they can come out of on top.

Phoenix Suns: Who knew that watching an NBA game could actually be an enjoyable experience? Well the Suns have show that over the past couple of seasons and their idea that scoring is OK is starting to catch on around the league. The suns need to be healthy, point blank if they want to win a title. Steve Nash is obviously the keystone in all of this. He's the enigizer bunny of this team, he makes them go. If he goes down then they'll fall from the top of the west playoff picture to somewhere near the mid-to bottom range of it. It's almost impossible to describe what he does and how well he does it. Just watch him and you'll enjoy and understand. The rest of their line-up is filled with guys that can get up and down the floor, finish in the open court and move well without the ball in half court sets. Shawn Marion is just an athletic freak. He jumps like he's been shot out of a cannon and he absolutely runs bigger guys off the court in transition. Add on top of that he's a great individual and team defender and even though the form on jumpshot is anything less than textbook it goes in, so you can't fault him for that. Boris Diaw really emerged for the Suns last season as well after coming to Phoenix via trade with Atlanta. He is big, he slashes very well to the basket and he has some range....not deep range, but enough to hit the 15-18 foot jumper. Coming off the bench, Leandro Barbosa is just instant offense. You could look away from the game for five minutes and he could suddnely have a dozen points. He can shoot from deep (44.4% from 3-point range) and he is lightning quick on the dribble and has no problem finishing at the rim. Marcus Banks was brought in to also provide some back-up minutes at the point and while he is suited for this type of system with his great speed, it's a matter of whether or not he uses it correctly; that meaning he goes north-south with it, not east-west. For some reason he seems to try and go around people rather than right by them which he is more than capeable of doing. Jumaine Jones has also been brought in basically as some offensive insurance and another deep threat off the bench. Defense has been an issue with this team in the past and despite having two very good individual defenders in Marion and Raja Bell, it coud still be an issue. Bell is in a lot of ways is a poor man's version of Ron Artest sans the crzy gene. He's a great on the ball defender and a good offensive player. He puts it up a lot from outside but he hits at a good clip (44.2% from 3-point range last season). In all honesty, the Suns season hinges on two big men, Amare Stoudamire and Kurt Thomas. Stoudamire was 2nd team All-NBA two seasons ago and he was an absolute force to be reckoned with. He was a monster on the break and he was starting to develop a nice face-up jumper. He also was a decent defender who provided another shot-blocking presence to go along with Marion. The problem was, he has issues with his knees and is coming off micro-fracture surgery, which has derailed more than on NBA career. If he comes back though and is healthy it will be a plus for the Suns, but they'll have to learn to integrate him back into their offensive flow. But with Nash at the point that may be easier than some might think. Kurt Thomas saw injuries limit his time in his first season in the valley of the sun. While he's not a fit in the Suns offense in terms of transition he does give them a reliable and viable option in the half court as he posesses a very good jump shot. His health will give them better offensive consistency when not in transition and while not a great defender by any strech of the imagination he can bang down low a little bit if needed. The Suns could go very far this year, in fact I think they will. Do yourself a favor and sit down and watch them if you get the chance, you won't be disappointed.


And there you have, California plus one, otherwise known as the Pacific Division. This is going to be a fun division to watch and a tough one to play in. There are at least 3 teams out of this division that should make the playoffs....maybe even four. Keep an eye on Golden St. they could be better than people might think and the Clippers may be closer to the Suns than it may appear, lets just hope they're not flying on wings made of wax. Anyways, moving on to the division finish.

1. Phoenix - It's their division to lose really....this could be the year they finally break through and win the whole thing
2. Clippers - Playoffs two years in a row? Believe it boy and girls
3. Scaramento - I think Artest wants to show everyone he's not crazy and that he wants to be an All-Star....and after he accomplishes that this season he'll go back to being crazy
4. Lakers - I don't know why, I just got a feeling that something is going to hit the fan this season with them....badly....don't know what or when, but something will happen
5. Golden State - I wanted to put them higher....I really think they could be a sleeper team and make a run for the playoffs in all honesty, I just can't have them leap to third in this division yet.

And there it is in all it's glory, the NBA's Pacific Divsion. Should be fun to wach....too bad most of their games don't start until 10pm my time though. Oh well, that's the way the time zones run. One more divsion to go, possibly one of the most craptastic, that being the Atlantic. Don't think it will get up today as I have some things to do and the Celtics open up tonight and lets just say I don't plan on missing that, so the Atlantic will be up tomorrow, but until then.....

Tis Been a While

Alright, it's been eons since I've posted anything, but I've been a little on the busy side, so worry not. The Central Division should be up tonight and with any luck I can get the Pacific up there as well. Hopefully this will all be wrapped up soon cuz I actually have some other things to ramble about, but until then.....

Right smack dab in the middle

Another day another division. Since we've looked at two from the Western Conference and I'm all for equality and balance, it's time to look at another division from the east and since we're saving the Atlantic for last and we've already done the Soutleast that means it's time to look at the central. This is most likely the most competative division in the east and will likely produce the most playoff teams of any eastern division. So without any further delays lets take a look at the central.

CENTRAL DIVISION

Chicago Bulls: Da Bulls should be pretty good. Last year they finished 41-41 and went 21-20 at home and 20-21 on the road, yay for balance. The bovines of the midway made a big splash on the free agent market this past year, signing four time defensive player of the year Ben Wallace away from division rival Detroit. The Bulls are hoping Wallace, along with PJ Brown, acquired in a trade will make an already tough defense even tougher. Supplying some shot blocking off the bench is rookie Tyrus Thomas who is uber athletic and has springs in his legs where his calves should be. Adrian Griffin is a do everything guy off the bench who is capeable perimeter defender. Same deal with Chris Duhon, who is a nice back-up point guard and plays some solid defense. So defense shouldn't be their issue, it's putting the ball in that could present some problems. Kirk Hinrich runs the offense and he runs it well. In fact he seems to be just as comfortable playing in transition as he does in the half court and he has a decent jump shot which is always a plus. Some of the offensive burden will also fall on Ben Gordon and he has the ability to fill up a stat sheet in a matter of minutes, it's just a matter of him being consistent. There are some nights when he could throw a pea into a straw and other nights he would have a hard time getting a tennis ball into the Grand Canyon. If you're looking for a guy to have a breakout year it could be him....in fact it would help the Bulls a great deal if it was him. Luol Deng is another interesting player. If he can get his jumper to be consistent, he could ease some of the offensive pressure on Gordon. Deng is very lanky (I can't say long, I don't wanna feel like Jay Bilas) and that helps him get seperation on his jumper. They don't really have much in the post offense department, well actually they have quite a bit if you take that in the literal sense. Mike Sweetney, a back-up power forward actually has a nice post up game, problem is he takes up a little too much of the post. He's listed at 6'8" and 270lbs. The height I buy, the weight, well if he's 270lbs then Chris Farley in his prime was only pushing 185 and we all know that's not true (Yeah, Chris Farley reference.....couldn't think of a famous fat person right now). This team would actually be really well served if they got out and ran. Gordon, Deng and Thomas can all score in transition and Hinrich is more than capeable of running a break. They should have plenty of opputunity to run if they play defense like they did last year (lots of missed shots = lots of chances to rebound and run). They've got the bodies to rebound and hell, Wallace's best shot (only) is finishing off a lob pass, so he'd be better served to get out in transition too. They've got all the makings of a playoff team, even one that could make a run in the east. And while defense will carry them a good ways, they still have to put the ball in the hole on the other end as well. Should be fun to watch.

Cleveland Cavaliers: This is everybodies favorite "it" team in the east and with somewhat good reason, because of, you guessed....Ira Newble. Alright, that's obviously not it, it's LeBron James. Even if you don't follow basketball you know who LeBron is, which is good and bad. Good because it might get casual people interested in the NBA, bad because well we live in a world of overkill. I've got nothing against LeBron, he's a great player, could be transcendent, I'm just tired of hearing about him every waking moment of every waking day. I'm tired of people call him Bron-Bron and treating him like some kind of diety. But that's the world we live in and I like sports too much to get out of it, so here I be. He does everything well, except play defense and he's obviously in the elite of the league. So he goes, so go the Cavs. Another key cog in all of this is Larry Hughes. Brought in to be the Pippen to LeBron's Jordan, injuries never let such a thing materialize last year. Hughes, if healthy will give the Cavs another option on offense, which they need and he gives them a solid defender....essentially what Pippen was on the Jordan Bulls. Zydrunas Ilgauskas, when healthy can be a very effective center. The problem with him is two-fold however. Issue one is he doesn't provide much intertior defense because he has all the agility of a street lamp. Issue two is that he also has the speed of a street lamp, so he can really slow down the offense when he's on the floor. In the power forward slot they have Drew Gooden who is downright confounding. Some nights he looks like an All-Star other nights he looks like he's confused by the concept of basketball, let alone what he's supposed to be doing on the court. They do have a lot of perimeter threats with Donyell Marshall, David Wesley and Damon Jones, the problem is they don't really have a point guard. Eric Snow was respectable a few years ago, notice the past tense in that and draw your conclusions as to what he is now. Damon Jones really isn't a point guard, he just plays one on TV. That being said, they'll be running the majority of the offense through James and Hughes, so the point guards are essentially there to be a fifth body on the floor. A fun guy to watch is Anderson Varejao, not only because he just seems to do good things when he's on the floor, but his hair looks like a cotton ball exploded on his head. Scott Pollard will also get some minutes down low for this team and I'm just wondering how many different hair styles he'll sport this season....I'm putting the over/under at 3....in fact I wonder what number will be higher this season, Pollard's scoring average or his number of hair styles....I'm hoping for hair. They'll be a playoff team, that's for sure, a contender in the east for sure....I have no way to finsh this, so lets just agree that we're done.

Detroit Pistons: Last year the Pistons got off to a blistering start. Halfway through their schedule last year they were 36-5 and on pace to challenge the 70 win mark. Well they didn't finish with 70, they ended up with a league best 64, nothing to sneeze at. Perhaps the biggest move they made in the off season was not re-signing Ben Wallace....well not so much that they didn't sign him, rather Chicago signed him away but I digress. Wallace's calling card is of course his defense. The Pistons defened well as a team, but they don't really have any great individual defenders. Tayshaun Prince is pretty damn good though and Chauncey Billups will also qualify as good. Rasheed Wallace is a decent defender in this teams' scheme and Richard Hamilton is athletic enough to stay with people on the perimeter. The problem with no Wallace is that leaves a glaring lack of a presence in the middle. Wallace not only blocked shots, he altered a lot as well. He was their stop gap in the middle and he allowed the perimeter defenders to take chances because they knew he would have their back. Also, while he didn't put up a lot of points on offense, he did something well on that end, rebound. He average just over 3 1/2 offensive rebounds a game and accounted for over 1/3 of the Pistons entire offensive rebounding. Offensive rebounds add up to a lot of 2nd chance points and while I'm not saying those 2nd chance points will make or break Detroit, it'll hurt them. Nazr Mohammed was brought in to man the middle for the Pistons. He's pretty capeable offensively, even has a nice face up jumper from 10-12 feet. Just don't count on the rugged inside play of Wallace from the past few years. It seems like after making defense their calling card under Larry Brown, the Pistons are sliding to more explosive offensive approach under Flip Saunders. Makes sense, Saunders is a more offensive minded coach then Brown. That being said, they will really need to generate their offense on the perimeter. Rasheed Wallace can play with his back to the basket a little bit, but he likes to hang around the three point line more than the kids from Saved By the Bell liked to hang out at the Max. Prince is also a more perimeter oriented player, but can drive when needed on occaision. Billups is, you guessed a perimeter player and Hamilton is something of hybrid. He works on the perimeter, but slashes a lot to get open. I love watching him play because he could run all day, plus he posesses the lost art know as the mid range jumper. His range is also starting to expand some, a reason for excitement. Flip Murray was brought in during the offseason to come off the bench and well, it looks like a damn good move. Murray can play on the perimeter some, but he also can get to the hoop. He'll provide a change of pace off the bench that'll be good for this team, some one who can go to the hoop to score and force opposing defenses to collapse when he does, leaving his teammates open on the perimeter. The rest of the bench is pretty thing though, outside of Antonio McDyess who is not spectacular, but is certainly steady. Then again, the Pistons of the past have relied on pretty much 6-7 guys to win, so if it aint broke....ah but there's the beauty, the Pistons haven't broken. In the past three seasons the Pistons core ( Hamilton, Billups, Prince, B. Wallace, R. Wallace) never missed more than 10 games in a season. Last season, their starting line-up missed a grand total of five games amongst the five players (Hamilton - 2 Billups - 1 R. Wallace - 2) and their six man, McDyess appeared in all 82 regular seasons games. That's not great health, it's astounding. The question of course is what happened if one of them went down. Hasn't happened yet, have a feeling they are overdue. The thing I'm looking forward to the most this season is how many technical fouls Rasheed Wallace can acrew. He lead the leauge last year with 17 techs and is always a candidate to do so, but this year especially. Wallace seems to erupt worse than Mt. Vesuvious when a call doesn't go his way and this year NBA officials have been told to crack down and call T's when players either whine to much of become over animated in whining about a call. So Rasheed has a choice, either to tone down his antics or get whistled up like he's woman in a short skirt walking by a construction site. My guess is that he'll tone it down a little, well he'll have to if he wants to play at all. Last season, the leauge also put in a rule that calls for a player to receive an automatic one game suspension after receiving their 16th tech. After that, every other T they get (18,20,22, etc.) would result in a one game suspension. So if Sheed can't keep his cool, he won't be on the court. Should be fun to watch. See, you don't have to like basketball to be entertained by the NBA. Anyways, this will be a good team. Strong vets who know how to play together and win. That being said, I think that void in the middle is going to hurt more than they might think....maybe not so much in the regular season, but come playoff time they could be hurting. So yeah, playoff team beyond a doubt, how far do they go in the playoffs? Well that's where the doubt comes in.

Indiana Pacers: The Pacers have something old, something new, something borrowed (or playing on borrowed time methinks) and all they need is something blue and they can have themselves a wedding. My guess is that a wedding is unlikely and that they'll prefer to play basketball instead, so lets look at that. In the something old category is Jermaine O'Neal. Though only 28 this year, this will be O'Neal's 11th season. While not old, you can see that the clock and windo for winning in Indiana is getting smaller. Health has been one of his biggest issues as he missed 31 games last year and 38 games the year before. If he can stay on the court then the Pacers could make some noise in the East, it's just a matter of him staying healthy. The new for the Pacers is two fold and well, one of the new things is something old. Al Harrington was drafted by the Pacers in 1998 and played for them for six seasons before going to Atlanta. A sign and trade brought Harrington back and the Pacers are hoping that he can pick up some of the scoring void that will be left from the departure of Peja Stojakovic, who the Pacers picked up for in exchange of Ron Artest last season. Harrington, while not the Stojakovic is, should provide a more well rounded offense game and some defense as well. Something borrowed, with my best guess is Stephen Jackson. There is not doubt the guy can play and is a legit NBA scorer. The only issue seems to be is that he is a few eggs short of a dozen. While the classic kind of crazy, he is quite simply crazy, as evidenced by him running into the stand during the brawl at the Palace a few years ago and throwing haymakers as if he were fighting to get out of the gates of hell. During the pre-season he was charged with felony criminal recklessness, battery and disorderly conduct for discharging a firearm outside a strip club at 3 in the morning after he was assualted by and individual outside the club. It's important to note he shot the gun as the car carrying his assailant was leaving the scene and he claimed he fired the gun in self defense. Usually when some one is leaving the scene of an altercation there is no more need for defending yourself, but apparently Mr. Jackson feels otherwise. I just have feeling he's going to get shipped out before all is said and done. I think that will really help the Pacers eliminate all memories of the brawl and truly move on. Plus, if he's gone, they can shift Harrington to the small forward spot and open up some playing time for Danny Granger and David Harrison in that spot. Both are a little rough around the edges, but both posess a lot of physical ability and could certainly blossom given enough time. They also picked up Marquis Daniels in a trade with Dallas and he should bring them a good perimeter presence on defense. His offensive numbers should also increase now that he'll have more and more consistent playing time. Jeff Foster is a solid back-up who can play either the 4 or 5 spot and he rebounds very well and puts up good rebounding numbers despite his limited minutes. I really like this team and while it's hard to call them a sleeper since they should be making the playoffs, I really feel they could do some damage. I don't know why I feel this, just. That is of course if they can unload Jackson. I know they'll take a hit offensively, but it'll do so much for their peace of mind it won't matter. That being said, I don't know who the hell would take him, but as long as Isiah Thomas and Kevin McHale are running teams in this league, well then anything is possible. Good team, they'll make the playoffs and maybe, if everything falls right for them, they'll make some noise too.

Milwaukee Bucks: Is there a more non-descript team than the Milwaukee Bucks? Yeah, I didn't think so either. You look at them and wonder how they won 40 games last year and you wonder how they'll do it again, if they can do it again that is. Well, I think they can do it again, but I think they're going to have one hell of a time doing it and a hell of time making the playofs because every other team in their division is better than them. This is not to say the Bucks are a bad team, they're actually pretty decent. Hell if they were in the Atlantic I'd probably have them challenging the Nets for the division title. Their kind of like the Honets in the regard that they are in the wrong division. No one on the Bucks really jumps out at you. Their biggest name is Michael Redd who strokes it better than a 15 year old with a Playboy. (Let that one sink in for a second) Seriously though, the guy can shoot....he's almost on a Ray Allen like level. Mo Williams takes over the point for the Bucks for the departed TJ Ford. While not a true point guard Williams can get up and down the floor a lil bit and his jumper is much more reliable than Ford's. Ford left by way of the trade to Toronto and in return the Bucks received Charlie Villanueva a rangy 6-11' player they'll plug in at power forward. Villanueva showed some good signs last year with the Raptors, he just needs to be more consistent. Case point, after scoring six points in two consecutive games last year, he went off for 48 points against the Bucks and followed up that performace with two games in which he scored 13 points and then 4.....might be a dramatic example, but you get the idea. If he can develop into a viable number two scoring option that should help the Bucks dramatically. In the small forward spot is Bobby Simmons who is just solid for lack of a better term. He plays nice defense, can shoot a little bit, just seems to not to do one thing outstanding, just a little bit of everything well. Same for Andrew Bogut in the middle. Bogut is more rugged down low than most people though he would be and has a little bit of range on his jump shot (side note - Bogut is expected to miss the first month or two of the season with a leg injury or as Al Michaels would say, ..."he'll be missing 6-8 weeks with a leg,"....and yes I'm aware I stole that bit from Bill Simmons, but he's not the only person who has made that observation, moving on). Their bench in all honesty isn't that great, but it isn't tha bad either. It's essentially made up of guys that are great NBA back-ups. Ruben Patterson, despite having a rap sheet that if it were red could double as a carpet for a movie premiere, does give them a hard nosed presence off the which all teams need. Charlie Bell can also play either wing position and Steve Blake will take care of the ball when he runs the point and help guys in the 2nd unit find shot even if he does look like a clown that just took off its make up. Dan Gadzuric is the ultimate back-up center. He can run the floor, block a couple of shots and just provide some energy off the bench. So while there are no stalwarts off the bench at least it's solid and 3-4 people deep. The Bucks are just a very likeable team and I wish I could pick better things for them to do, I just can't. Their division is just too tough and unless something catestrophic happens to one of the teams ahead of them, I just don't see how they end up ahead of any of them, which means the playoffs could be tough to come by for the Bucks. Tough luck for the Bucks.


And there you have it the NBA's Central Division. Might be the most competitive good division in the east. Notice the use of competitive and good. The Atlantic will be competitive, just not good. So without wasting a lot more time, lets get onto some division finishes.

1. Detroit - I know a lot of peolpe are picking the Cavs in this division....I just feel the Pistons have one more division crown in them, then it's the Cavs turn....unless some one goes down for Detroit, then it's Cleveland's division to lose.
2. Cleveland - They'll make it close, wouldn't be surprised if they won, I just don't know if they will over take the Pistons this year....if they met in the playoffs again I'd lean towards Cleveland...it'll be a fun race to watch.
3. Chicago - I think they're going to make a leap this year, in fact if the Pistons falter I wouldn't be surprised if the Bulls grabbed a second place finish in the division.
4. Indiana - I really want to put them higher but I can't, not yet at least, kind of like.....
5. Milwaukee - .....the Bucks. They'd be higher most anywhere else in the east, unfortunately this is where they reside, but dems da breaks.

And that boys and girls is the Central division, probably the East's best. It'll be tight and hotly contested all season long, kinda makes me wish I lived an hour to the left. Anyway, two more divisions to go, one of them will be up soon, but until then.....

The Division we wish we could all forget

Time to investigate a new division and we'll be moving out towards the left coast today to take a look at the Northwest Division. The last division we looked at was the Southwest, which if you remember was one of the most competitive in the league. Well the Northwest is almost a mirror image, not only in name but also in the quality of the teams which is damn well near the opposite. If the NBA divisions were each attached to beer that designated their overall quality, the Northwest divsion would be the Natural Ice of the NBA. So let the sarcasm begin as we delve into the seedy northwest.

NORTHWEST DIVISION

Denver Nuggets: The defending division champion, they were bounced by the new look Clippers in the first round of the playoffs last season. Carmelo Anthony is the big name on this team and he'll put up big numbers in the scoring column and that is part of their problem. Anthony will score regardless which means when he doesn't score early and often, he'll stagnate the offense as he still tries to get his shots/points. On the plus side point guard Andre Miller runs and offense very well, distributes the ball evenly and can penetrate and finish on the way to the rim. On the downside his jumpshot would have a hard time hitting the ocean if he shot it off a dingy. Their front court is anchored down by Marcus Camby and Kenyon Martin. If this is 1998 it would be reason for excitement, but again we're in 2006 so lets not get too excited. Camby, when healthy isn't a bad option to have in the middle. Last year he averaged 12.8ppg 11.9rpg and 3.29blocks-per-game. The problem is, his body is apparently made of tissue paper. He's played in over 70 games only once and over 60 games only 4 times in his NBA career. These are the kind of things that happen when you're 6'11" and only weigh 220lbs. Martin meanwhile was last seen doing nothing for the Nuggets after being suspended during the playoffs for cursing out his coach during the 2nd game of their series. That's the kind of verteran leadership you want. The logical thing to do would be to trade Martin and cut their losses. Unfortunately for them, no one wanted the 28-year old with a bad knee in the third year of a seven season $90million contract. Can't imagine why also given his naturally cheery disposition. For excitement off the bench they have the 5'5" Earl Boykins, who is honestly more than a novelty item. He gets up and down the floor like lightning and he can shoot it pretty well. There's not much on the bench either, unless you count Joe Smith as something and last I checked most people didn't. I do like Eduardo Najera, tough defender, plays hard and always give a good effort....makes you kind of wonder how he ended up on the Nuggets. J.R. Smith is another interesting player on this team. Very athletic, can finish when he takes it to the rim and actually has very good range on his jump shot. On the downside he has very poor shot selection and this is not the team to learn it on. It's like sending a blind guy to learn sign language from a deaf guy, nothing good will come of it. If they run they'll be effective, if not they're in trouble because they sure don't have much of a halfcourt offense. Plus with George Karl coaching this team, there is sure to be a player mutiny at some point this season...I'm voting for sometime right around the trade deadline. Good times.

Seattle Supersonics: In 2004-2005 the Sonics won 52 games. Last season they remembered they were the Sonics and went 35-47. The Sonics can score, they were third in the league with just over 102 points a game, but they also couldn't stop a 35-and over YMCA men's league team from matching them. Ray Allen may have the best jump shot in the league and he can get it off so quickly it doesn't matter how tightly you defend him. Unfortunately his passion doesn't carry over to the defensive end, not that it ever has so lets just leave it at that. Luke Ridinour runs the great, it's almost like the ball is an extension of his arm when he's on the court....plus he can shoot it a little bit too which is a big plus for point guards. But much like Allen defense is not his friend. It's not for lack of effort per se....some people can defend some can't and he is definetly one of the latter. His back-up Earl Watson is a good defender however which raises the question, who do you have on the court during crunch time? Do you have the guy you know will get you points out there, or the guy that can lockdown the opposing teams' point? Have fun with that one Bob Hill. Their best defender is most likely Nick Collison, their back-up powere forward....no snarky comment hear, just stating a fact. Their starting power forward Rashard Lewis is a big, rangy power forward who is really more of a shooting guard in a power forward's body. Chris Wilcox will also be in their frontcourt and he actually showed signs of life after doing nothing for the better part of 3 and a half season with the Clippers. In his defense, no one did much of anything with the Clippers for a while, so he can't be judged solely upon that. They also have one of my least favorite players in Danny Fortson who plays as though he wants to injure whoever gets in his way. I have no problem playing with intesity but when that intensity makes Mike Myers from Halloween look like Rainbow Bright, well you have issues....much like the Sonics do as a basketball team.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin Garnett is knicknamed The Big Ticket. Well, the only ticket he's looking to get is one out of town. Four years ago they reached the Western Conference finals, now their looking to climb out of the bottom of the barrel. Garnett has always played with something of a scowl on his face that just seemed to showcase his intensity. In the past couple of years the scowl has become genuine methinks and me also thinks that a full season of playing with Ricky Davis will cause Garnett to decapitate some one before the season is out. Don't get me wrong, Davis is a good player, in fact he was a good citizen during his time with the Celtics. He just requires a lot of touches and shots and at times he can bog down an offense as he can force shots and passes so he can pad his assist totals. Trenton Hassel is a essentially a poor mans version of Bruce Bowen....guy who can defend really well and any offense you get is a bonus. Mike James was brought in to help hold down the point guard position and while he's a capeable guy I just don't know how effective he'll be. He not much of a play maker, then again Minnesota has a lot of individual offensive players so they don't neccisarily need one. Mark Blount will score 10 points a night and grab 5 boards which doesn't sound bad, but when you consider if he played to half his potential those numbers could easily be 18 and 8. But since he signed a big contract a couple of years ago, don't expect anything else out of him. If KG picks someone to fight with my vote is Blount....more or less because I want someone to deck Mark Blount. I will give them credit for drafting Randy Foye who everyone seems to have hard-on for and with good reason. He can play either guard spot, he can shoot and pass and he always plays hard. Also, kudos for taking Craig Smtih out of Boston College. Undersized power forward but really rugged and isn't afraid to bang away on the blocks. So there could be a bright future in Minnesota....if the current band of mis-fits don't taint the young'uns too much. Just to run through some of them......

Ricky Davis: He once tried get a triple double in a game by throwing a ball off the back board to himself....on the basket his team was defending. It warrants mentioning that the rebound didn't count so he didn't get the triple double. It also warrants mentioning he was a good citizen in Boston, none of the distractions he had in Cleveland, but he's not exactly the kind of guy you want setting the example for the younger fellas. He has like a 2-2 1/2 season window of productiveness without being a dispruption so the key is not to keep him around too long.

Eddie Griffin - No, not the comedian, but his comedy of errors is almost as funny. While in college at Seton Hall got into a fist fight with a teammate after a game, amongst other issues he had at school. Most recently, he was picked up for driving under the influence this past off-season while watching an "adult" movie inside his SUV.....outstanding.

Mark Blount - I will rant about him at length another day....lets just say his work ethic is questionable at best and he has mood swings worse than a woman during "that time of the month" that affect his play greatly.

Marko Jaric - Nothing character wise about him, he's just a terrible NBA point guard....don't let him near Randy Foye so he doesn't taint him.

Rashad McCants - He's kind of like a rubic's cube, just when you think you've got the thing figured out, you realize you're not even close. He's got all the ability in the world it's just hard to read the guy.....for lack of a better word he always seems surly for no good reason. Again, he could snap at any moment, great to have him along for the ride.

Vin Baker - Vin Baker is on an NBA roster? Well apparently he is for the time being. For those of you not familiar with Baker, he was drafted by the Milwaukee in 1993 out of the Univeristy of Hartford. By his second season, he was an All-Star, the first of his 4 appearance in the game....3 with Milwaukee and one with Seattle after he was traded there before the 1997-98 season. Then came the NBA lock-out the next year and Baker decided to gain aprroximately 300lbs (alright maybe closer to 50lbs). It was somewhere around this time when he also started abusing alcohol and well it was all downhill from there. He was last seen collecting dust on the Clippers bench last season....by the way LA is not a good place to be if you have a substance abuse problem, just thought I'd throw that out there. Maybe he's there as a cautionary tale, saying "Dont let this happen to you."

To say the T-Wolves are a mess is a slight understatement. But hey, there is the potential for a potential soap opera type disaster so that could be fun.....too bad it'll happen in Minnesota though because if it happens there, no one will notice.

Portland Trailblazers: This was once a model NBA franchise. Perennial playoff team, talented, loved by the community, seemed to love the community back. Well it's been a nightmare in recent years. From JR Rider to Damon Stoudamire to Ruben Patterson to Zach Randolph to Qyntel Woods to Bonzi Wells to Nick VanExel....if you want to know what they've all done just use google their names with random crimes after them and you'll most likely find something, plus it'll give you a way to kill some free time. This team is in such disarray that Bill Walton is speaking clearly and coherently. (If you don't get that joke, leave a comment and I wll clarify at a later date). They do have a stud in the form of Zach Randolph, but he is one of the listed above. He seems to have issues not getting high as a kite and carry weapons for which he is not permitted to carry, amongst other things. Darius Miles will be doing them no favors either as he somehow secured a multi-year from the team so he's pretty much going to be in cruise control from now until the deal expires. They do have some good young talent. Martell Webster is a good shooter, who if he works on his shot off the dribble could be in the league for a long time. They also have Brandon Roy, who is a rookie, but a guy that I absolutely love, not only because he's a smooth offensive player that can slash and shoot, he's also a damn good defender....too bad he plays three time zones away on a team that won't be on national TV. They also acquired LaMarcus Aldridge, another rookie, on draft day and Aldridge is quite simply a beast down low, well at least he was in college and hopefully that will carry over to the NBA. As a Celtics fan, I am very grateful they took on Raef LaFrentz and the remaining years on his bloated contract (thanks for that Mark Cuban). No offense to Raef, whose career was throttled by injuries (mainly his knee, changed the way he played) but he was essntially a seven foot shooting guard in past year, though his arms are really well defined if you like looking at that kind of thing (did that last comment creep you out? yeah, me too and I wrote it, how weird is that?) Good luck kind people of Portland, you have a rough road ahead of you....again. Well at least you have the.....um.....uh......nope their all you've got, good luck with that.

Utah Jazz: Someone has to win this division right? Well I'm thinking it's the Jazz. Honestly, I don't think the Nuggets are quite as bad as I made them out to be in the beginning of this and I wouldn't be too surprised if they made a run in this division, I'm just thinking the Jazz are due. Andrei Kirilenko makes Calvin Klein models look fat, but damn the man runs like a gazelle, can shoot, involve his teammates on offense and he's a sneaky good shot blocker. As long as he's healthy they have a shot to be good. Speaking of health, Carlos Boozer needs to stay healthy. He's only play in 84 games (33 last season) for the Jazz since coming to Utah two years ago. If he's healhty it will not only give them a viable option at power forward, it will also allow Kirilenko to play more on the wing where his body will take less abuse. Matt Harpring also gives them a solid scoring option off the bench and Derek Fisher.....well he's a verteran I guess, should give them some presence off the bench, I dunno, never been that big into Derek Fisher, moving on. Apparently the Jazz brass really liked that Illinois team from a couple of years ago that went undefeated for a long time because they have three former team members on their roster. Second year player Derron Williams, will be running the point and if he can improve on what he did last year they'll be good to go in that department. Not only does he run the offense well, he also plays some solid defense. Rounding out the Illinois contingent is Williams' former backcourt mate Dee Brown (not to be confused with former dunk champ and Reebok Pump Shoe endorser Dee Brown), who the Jazz picked up in the second round of the draft. I loved Brown in college, how he'll be in the NBA, not too sure, but he plays with a lot of energy and always goes all out, so I hope he sticks around. Last but not least is small forward Roger Powell who I would guess is happy to be along for the ride right now, so enjoy it while it lasts. Mehmet Okur is holding down the middle and while not a traditional down on the blocks guy (not that many of those exist anymore) he can play in the post some, plus he can strech the defense because he's very solid on the perimeter. There will be no more Greg Ostertag and his Fred Flintston tattoo and while is sad, not to worry because Rafael Araujo, acquired in a trade with Toronto, will more than amplely fill the roll of "overweight, slow, offensively and defensively challenged and flabby seven foot white guy who plays center for the Jazz". On the plus side, Araujo has significantly more tattoos which should go a long way to scaring those folks in Utah....do you think they know Kennedy was shot yet? Yeah, me neither. But back to the point, the Jazz should be a good team this year, fun to watch and maybe they could make some noise in the early rounds of the playoffs. Although I do hope this is the year the people of Utah will discover what jazz is and then demand that the Jazz change their name simply because the concept of jazz music scares them. Wow, knew I was so bitter towards Utah?

There we have it, the Northwest division. What you see is what you get with this one and well, if you see a pile of junk you don't need to get your eyes checked. So lets not wast anymore time with it and just get on to the division finish predictions.

1. Utah - If healthy it's their division to lose, if not healthy....well it's still their division to lose
2. Denver - They could push for the dvision crown, I just think dysfunction will do them in
3 or 4 - Minnesota/Seattle - Too close to call....part of me wants to say Minnesota because they made more productive moves, but there's to much volitility in Minny to put them ahead of Seattle, so flip a coin on this one, if you care enough about it too...my guess is that you don't
5. Portland - Lets put it this way, in their projected starting five, they have one guy who average double figures in points last year....again to the good people of Portland, my apologies.

That's it for the Northwest, probably too much on it, but hey if anything I wrote here was short concise and made sense, you would know that I didn't write it. Another divsion in a day or two, so until then.....

There are no Grizzlies in Memphis

It's been a couple of days....time to look at a new division and today we travel to the NBA's Southwest Division or as I like to call it Texas and freinds as three of the division's five teams (San Antonio, Houston, Dallas) reside in the lone star state. The division is rounded out by the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets and the Memphis Grizzlies. This could be one of the toughest divsions in all of the NBA, though each of these teams could fall completely apart if a certain man from each team goes down, in fact the Grizzlies main gun is already down and out....three guesses as to where I think they'll finish in the division this season and the first two don't count. So without and further ado on we go to the Southwest.

SOUTHWEST DIVISION

Memphis Grizzlies: This is a team that won 50 games in 2003-04, 45 the following season and nailed down another 49 last year, no small feat and pretty respectable. So why are they screwd before the season has even started? Well Pau Gasol, their all-star forward who sports a beard that would make a lumberjack blush, is out for at least three months after breaking his foot while playing for Spain in the World Championships. So that right out of the gate is the man they could ill afford to lose and well, he's already lost. On the plus side shooting guard Mike Miller is in a contract year and there are no finer players in the NBA than those in contract years. (ie - Eddy Curry, Mark Blount, et. al). Their starting backcourt would be great if it were 1998, unfortunately it's 2006. Damon Stoudamire runs the point and he's actually not too bad when he's not higher than a frat boy on 4/20, which unfortuately for the Grizz isn't all that often. Eddie Jones was one of my favorite guys to watch, used to be a stud defensively, could knock down the open jumper and occaisionaly slash to the hoop when needed. Notice how everything in that last sentence spoke of Jones in the past tense. That's because in the past couple of years he's been running on fumes of fumes. I look at him kind of like that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer is test driving that car and wants to see how far past the E on the gas gague he can drive before the car craps out. Right now, that's Eddie Jones. The tank is pretty much empty and according to the gas gague he should have stopped a long time ago, yet somehow he's still going. The lesson here is sometimes in life things can't be explained. Looking to upgrade their offense, they made a draft day trade the netted them rookie Rudy Gay amongst other players. Gay could be a perenial all-star for the next decade, or he could be cleaning your table at Applebees. There's no question this guy has all the skills to be an NBA player he also already has the attitude of an 8 year veteran, that being some games he's plays as though there is nothing more important in the worlds and others he plays as if he more worried about how many groupies he'll be bringing back to his hotel room that night. To say he drifts through games is kind of like saying there's a slight drug trafficing problem in Columbia, in other words a massive understatement. Again, I watch this league under my own power....I remind you again that I'm not that bright. For excitement purposes they have Hakim Warrick who dunks more often than a fat kid with a bag of Oreos. Stromile Swift (re-acquired in the draft day deal with Gay) can also throw it down with the best of em and should provie some interior defense. Other than that, not much to sneeze at....if they can hold it together until Gasol comes back they could make a run, but don't hold your breath on it.

New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets: This is a team that in any other division would be making some noise....unfortunately for them they play in the same division as two of the top teams in the NBA (Spurs & Mavs). Part of me wants to put them ahead the Rockets, but if the Rockets stay healthy I don't see that happening. Speaking of health, the one man the Hornets can ill-afford to lose is Chris Paul. After being a nearly unanimous Rookie of the Year last year he became everyone's favorite young point guard and with good reason. He can drive to the hoop at will, knows how to set up his teammates, basically he's the perfect point guard. He should open up plenty of opportunity for Peja Stojakovic to let it rain from deep. Peja will definetly upgrade the offense which was an area they desperately needed to upgrade. They also hoped they've upgraded the D with the acquistions of Tyson Chandler, who should provide some shot blocking and rebounding presence in the middle. Someone to watch is David West an undersized power forward, who has a good face up jumper and always seems to come away with the rebound despite giving up a lot of height and bulk. Bobby Jackson brings the Hornets some veteran experience and a good presence off the bench. I really like this team, I think they could do some good things, but they just play in the wrong division. I want to pick them as a sleeper team for the playoffs, but being in this division will do them no favors in that regard, so they'll most likely be on the outside looking in.

Houston Rockets: This might be the hardest team to read in this division just because they have the biggest health ifs possible. For them it all revolves around the health of Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming. In their first season together, when both were healthy (McGrady 78 games out of 82....Yao in 80) the Rockets were 51-31. Last year with both missing significant time (McGrady missed 35 games....Yao 25) and seldom playing together the Rockets slid to 34-48, in the words of Austin Powers "Major ouch baby." (Yeah, that's right, I made an untimely pop culture reference, what ya gonna do about it?) So if together and healthy they'll be a force to be reckoned with....if not well, they'll be relying a lot on Juwan Howard and Bonzi Wells, which is enough to scare the be-jesus out of even a casual NBA fan. Wells is an interesting signing that can do one of two things. He will either A.) Give the Rockets a much needed scoring boost off the bench and force the defense to not focus solely on McGrady on the perimeter when they both are on the floor together....or he will B.) Cause the Rockets to become the first team to engage in a fist fight with each other in the middle of an actual game. There is no denying that Wells has talent and give the proper amount of touches in an offense he can do some damage. But also bear in mind, this was a guy who was coming off a MONSTER playoff series against the Spurs (23.2 points per game, 12 rebounds per game and five double doubles in six games) and garnered essentially ZERO interest on the free agent market. He turned down a 5 year $40 million deal with Sacramento (his former team) and instead signed a one year deal with a player option for one more year with the Rockets worth $2.1 million this season. Wells signed the deal because he prefers playing in "a good situation" rather than making more money. Right, and I enjoy being 24, unemployed and living at home. If he were any more full of it, it would be shooting out his nose. Still though, this isn't a bad situation for him to be in. He could be an invaluable bench presence, give them that offensive jolt....or he and Rafer Alston could throw down at mid-court by mid-January. On the plus side, you have to like the fact they picked up Shane Battier. He's no all-star, but you want the guy on your team. Plays good team defense, covers up others mistakes, doesn't need the ball to be effective on offense, takes good shots and shoots a high percemtage. I think of him as a slightly less athletic version of Josh Howard of the Mavericks. Also has less offensive ability than Howard but is invaluable to a team. I also don't see how they leapfrog either San Antonio or Dallas so they won't be any higher than third in this division. I think in all honesty, this division should be disbanded and spread amongst the other divisions of the NBA so they can reach their true effectivness and potential. I mean is it really fair that there are three high quality (all the Texans) teams and one if not for their superstar being injured (Memphis) would be a playoff team and another team that could push for a spot and then you have a divsion like the northwest where the Jazz should have the division title locked up by Thanksgiving get the same credit for all the games they play. It's like when you were in elementary school and during the spelling test there was that one kid who always had a dictionary on their desk so they could "check" their work as the test went on, got a "100" then rubbed it in that you got a 90. You know you're smarter than that kid, but you still get the same credit even though he cheated. That's what the Northwest division is to the Southwest, the kid with the dictionary. They have one good team (Jazz) maybe one that's respectable (Nuggets) and the rest is junk. I propose that the Hornets and Rockets switch to the Northwest and the T-Wolves and Blazers switch to the Soutwest just to even out the playing field. OK, quick question, what team was I talking about here? Can you remember, without scrolling to the top, what team I was talking about? If you said New Orleans, you are wrong, it was the Rockets....I think, hold on lemme check....yup it was the Rockets. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to have a domain to type and post whatever I feel like, things like this happen. I'm talking about one thing and then I go on a complete tanget that while kind of related to what I was originally talking about really should be a completely seperate thought all together. Lets just agree to move on to the next team here.

San Antonio Spurs: What a boring team, I didn't ever get to put their name in a fun color because they wear black. OK, I'm kidding, they're not really boring, in fact their pretty damn good, big surprise. Tim Duncan spent the summer resting his bad foot (plantar fasciitis....and yes I had to look up how to spell faciitis) and by all accounts is healthy and rested, with added muscle on his legs. If I were the rest of the NBA, I would be worried, very worried. He average career lows in points (18.6ppg) and rebounds (11rpg) last season essentially playing on one leg and all he did all winter long was sit and stew about the fact his team got bounced out before the finals. I have a feeling that he will be a monster this year and bear in mind this is a team that won 63 games last year. Manu Ginobilli and Tony Parker will be manning the backcourt and they'll continue to penetrate to their hearts delight since in the NBA, if some one looks at you cross eyed while you drive to the hoop it's considered a foul. Bruce Bowen will continue to hang out around the 3-point line waiting for kickouts on offense and continue to play his requisite "great defense" ( the more I watch Bowen, the more "great defense" just seems like a lot of grabbing the other guys jersey and sneaking in elbows when the refs aren't looking). I don't mean to knock Bowen too much, he does something that other NBA players abohr, playing defense, I just think he's kind of dirty. He also some how shoots an very high percentage from the 3-point line and a very low percentage from the free throw line. In fact in the 2002-03 season he shot a higher percentage from 3-point range (44.1%) than from the free throw line (40.0%). It just warrants mentioning that 3-pointers must be taken during the course of moving game action and free throws are taken with absolutely no one allowed to defend you from a much closer range (by a minimum of seven feet at least). And while his free throw shooting has been better in recent years it still doesn't jive with his outside shooting. Last year he hit 42.4% of his three-pointers, a very good three point percentage and only 60.7% of his free throws a very much below average percentage. It's inexplicable. It'd be like if someone could down multiple bottles of schnopps and not throw up or feel like their head was hit multiple times with a tack hammer the next day; but if they had a couple of beers they would be tossing their cookies like they were coming down with ebola and their head would throbbing worse than all the men in America if naked pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt were released. Alright, that's too much time on Bruce Bowen, lets move one. Michael Finley comes off the bench to give them a little bit of scoring and Brent Barry can strech out the D as well with his perimeter skills. (For the record, Barry whines at least as bad, if not worse than Rasheed Wallace, he's just less animated, I can't wait to see how many techs he ends up with this year. And why hasn't anyone looked into the fact that whining is hereditary amongst the Barry family. Brent whines, Jon whines.... I'm pretty sure their brother Drew is a whiner and of course the dad Rick was the ultimate whiner, but I digress). Another reason I can be excited about the Spurs you ask? Matt Bonner. Why should I be excited about a goofy white guy you ask? Well, not only did I get the chance to scrimmage against his team while in high school, he's one of only two players in the NBA to grow up/play their high school basketball in New Hampshire. (I'm not counting guys that have played prep ball in NH and I would be amazed if you could tell me the other guy....well maybe not too amazed, with the invention of google and whatnot.) The Spurs will be good, scary even with a healthy Duncan, be on the lookout.

Dallas Mavericks: Last season's NBA runner-up and the team I thought that would win it, whoops on that part. Anyway, like any Mark Cuban team, they tinkered with the roster in the offseason, but not too much and it looks like they made it a little better. Dirk Nowitzki is amazing, took his game to a completely new level last year and hopefully, this is the beginning of a 2-3 year run of amazing by the man who hums Hasselhoff while at the free throw line. Josh Howards is another fun guy to watch, not flashy just good, goes out and does his job and does it well. If Devin Harris can figure out how to shoot then he could be dangerous. He's kind of like Tony Parker was a few years ago. Blazing speed, can finish on his was to the rim, can be out of control at times and the jumper isn't quite consistent. The biggest difference is that Parker was a better passer at this point in his career, but other than that, they look similar....well to me at least. Jason Terry isn't great, but he's not bad, just pretty good, but that's better than most. Wow, I just read that sentence and realized I said nothing with it....so this is what Tim McCarver feels like. In the middle the essentially need a big body that can take up space. DeSagana Diop is 7' tall and weighs 280lbs, check there. Off the bench Erik Dampier (Michael Cage - The Remix....seriously check out the numbers) can be productive when he gives a damn, though you would have a better chance of figuring out how Michael Rappaport can still get acting jobs then you will figuring out on which nights Dampier will actually give a damn. Jerry Stackhouse also gives them scroing off the bench and Austin Croshere replaces Keith Van Horn as the white guy off the bench that can hit the outside shot....plus Croshere can actually play with his back to the basket a lil bit and rebound better than Van Horn. Of course all of this is moot is Dirk goes down, but for the sake of the league, lets hope he doesn't. I hope they make another run and I hope they meet up again with the Spurs in the playoffs....good times all around.

So there we have it, for better or for worse this is the Southwest Division, in my mind most likely the toughest in the NBA. Again, if only we could ship a couple of these teams out and a couple of crappy ones in to level things out it would be great, but alas we can not so things are what they are. Time for a division order, actually first, the guy each team can't afford to lose, then the order.

Memphis - Pau Gasol (already lost for 3 months....yikes....next is Mike Miller I guess
Charlotte/OK City - Chris Paul....Bobby Jackson could help hold the fort if Paul goes down, but not for long
Houston - Tracy McGrady/Yao Ming....to me they are one entity....I give you Trayaocy McGradming
San Antonio - Jackie Butler....just wanted to see if you were paying attention, obviously it's Tim Duncan
Dallas - Dirk Nowitzki....do you really want Austin Croshere in your starting line-up in place of Dirk? Yeah, me neither.

Onto the division finish....

1. San Antonio - If they won 63 games with Duncan on one leg then I hate to think what will happen when they have a healthy Duncan
2. Dallas - I could honestly see them on top of this divsion as well, I just think healthy Duncan and better D from the Spurs is still too much for the Mavs in the regular season...gap between them is still close though, very close
3. Houston - If healthy, solid third in the divsion, but McGrady has back problems and when it comes to backs, well no one knows....plus watch for the Bonzi induced brawl, I can't wait
4. NO/OK - I think they've made moves to go in the right direction....again just the wrong division of them now....if they keep their core together could be tough in a year or two
5. Memphis - Only because three months w/o Gasol puts them very far behind the 8-ball

Well there it is, a Southwest Division preview that at times is completely off track, makes no sense in some moments and will hopefully intrigue you to watch at least one NBA game this season. Another division in a day or two, but until then.....

I love this game....and I don't know why

The NBA it's faaaaaaaaaannnnnntastic, or some such crap like that. To pilfer a line from ESPN.com's Bill Simmons, I'm one of the two dozen NBA fans that actually exists. No I'm not just a Celtics fan, of which I am of the rabid variety, I actually like the NBA. I know, the game can be boring and methodical, lots of one-one while everyone else stands around. I absolutely abhor the some of the showmanship and one-upmanship that seems to plague the game today. Count me among the very happy the NBA will be giving away technichal fouls for excessive whining and showing up referees after calls.

I'm thinking the new rule will hopefully cut down on the cry-baby antics you can't go more than 45 second without seeing in an NBA game. In fact I'm hoping that the new rule will cause the rest of Detroit Piston forward Rasheed Wallace's hair to turn gray like that little patch he already has on his head due to the new stress the rule will cause him. He's one of the guys who is claiming this rule will be "taking away from the emotion we display on the court." Seems to me guys named Bird and Magic and Robertson and Reed and Russell and Chamberlin all played with plenty of emotion. What they didn't due was play like whiny cry-babies which is what the rule is trying to crack down on. If you decide sometime in the near future to watch an NBA game (and if you do, god bless you for doing so) keep a count of how many guys actually think they committed a foul. My guess is about 3% of the time a player will admit to committing a foul and the other 97% of the time he'll cry worse than a baby who just dropped half their body weight into their diaper.

In fact over the course of his entire 16 season career with the Lakers, Hornets and Kings, Vlade Divac never once committed a foul, well in his mind at least, despite being whistled for just over 3,600 fouls in 1,134 career games. Divac also had it the other way as well. If he missed a shot, specifically a lay-up that was well contested defensively, he wanted a foul, because he would never miss that shot under his own power, he must have been fouled. Let put it this way, Divac stands 6'11"....if Verne Troyer (aka - Mini-Me) sneezed on Divac while he was taking a jumper and he missed Vlade would turn the ref, swear at him in Serbian and demand a foul. Divac was also known for smoking like a chimney in his earlier years in the association, but eventually gave it up at the behest of his children and then he suddenly noticed he wasn't as short of breath as he once was. Yes, this is the league I grew up watching and for some reason still enjoy.

This is all not to say that NBA officials are very good, in fact they may be the worst officials in all of professional sports, but that is another rant for another day. So what's this all a set-up for, why an NBA pre-view of course! Please, don't get too excited, no really please sit back down. This will be coming in chunks by divisions in the next few days or week or however long it takes me. Hell, I probably won't finish this until December when we're almost 2 months into the regular season. If you're looking for in depth, detailed analysis with insightful commentary, team by team position by position breakdown, playoff and finals picks and league awards picks then this is definetly not the place for you, at all. I may do some of that and maybe at the end I will actually try to pick some awards winners, but that's as far as it will get. Predictions are useless, they're seldom right and you're pretty much basing them on past years performances which can either mean a whole lot or a whole little so you won't find them here.

Since I live on the east coast and I hate hearing about the "East Coast bias" I'm going to start all this crap with the teams out west in the Pacific Division....ok not really, lets start out in the Southeast division, why, well just because.

SOUTHEAST DIVISION

Atlanta Hawks: On the positive side, the Hawks doubled their win total in the 2005-06 from the previous season. On the negative side that translated into just 26 wins (pop quiz - how many wins does that mean they had the season before?). They do have a high quality NBA player in Joe Johnson. He can shoot, drive, pretty much handle all facets of the game (sans defense). They also have a very exciting player in Josh Smith who jump out of the gym and may be one of the more exciting finishers in the NBA in the open court and is a pretty good shot blocker. Other positives? Small Forward Josh Childress sports a very well kept afro....no seriously, that's the next best thing about this team which doesn't say much for them or their chances. They did brings in Speed Claxton to shore up the point guard position. Not a huge move but maybe a step in the right direction. Last year's starting point guard combo of Tyronn Lue and Royal Ivey combined to average a whopping 4 assists a game. If you follow basketabll you now that's not just bad, it's horrendous. If you don't follow basketball just understand that's very bad, much like drinking Jobu's rum. Speaking of which, do yourself a favor and Google image Tyronn Lue, picture him with some fluffy hair and he would look a lot like Jobu. And speaking of funny looking, joining the Hawks this year fresh out of Duke University is Sheldan Williams, who is a lock to join the NBA's all ugly team and may even give Sam Cassell a run for his money in the "most ugliest" category (and yes I know most ugliest is not correct grammar, whatever). In fact I think Cassell and Williams are from rival planets and when they meet on the floor the first time this year it's gonna get messy. What the hell am I writing about again, oh yeah, the Hawks. They'll be bad....really bad....and they'll probably beat the Celtics twice.....damn you NBA.

Charlotte Bobcats: Gotta love it when a franchise leaves a city (Hornets) and the NBA place an expansion franchise there just a few years later, nice work. Anyway they could be respectable, hell they could put together and NCAA All-America team with some of the current players on their roster. Unfortunately this is the NBA, not the NCAA so how that will work remains to be seen. Emeka Okafur (All-America #1), former co-rookie of the year missed a lot of time with an ankle injust last year. While not spectacular, he's solid, when healthy of course. He can hold down the power forward position, though slightly undersized. To pair with him in the front court, the Bobcats drafted former UNC forward Sean May (All-America #2). May also was hurt for much of last year, out with a knee injury. Since he was already a little overweight to begin with I'm sure having a knee injury that would keep you sedintary would do nothing to exaserbate that problem, not at all. Baby fat is OK on a baby, it's not OK on 22-year old power forward, but I digress. May's former teammate Raymond Felton (AAM #3) will most likely be manning the point for them this year. No real problem with him, so we'll move on to AAM #4, Adam Morrison. He was everyone's favorite athlete last year not named Brett Favre. We heard about how he was a diabetic one week and then how he played video games on-line with JJ Reddick then about how he displayed such emotion on the court and then every week we heard about his moustache and then how he reminded everyone of Larry Bird (that my friends is another rant for another day, believe me). How's he gonna do this year, I think OK. He'll have some great games and he'll struggle in some others, just like every other rookie. If they run him off enough picks, he'll score enough. He just won't be able to create his own shot that well, or rebound that well. Rookie of the Year? Wouldn't be surprised, but I definetly wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't in the running for it either. Another thing too, he does not have a porn start moustache, not at all. Porn start staches' are big and bushym almost fu-manchu like. He has a moustache of an 8th grader, so enough about it already. I do like Gerald Wallace, high energy guy, not afraid to go to the rim and plays some solid defense. If you watch a Bobcats game, watch him and you should be entertained. Again, they could be respectable, depends on the health of the guys they have....then again that's true of all teams, so I really made no real point there, just wasted word space.

Orlando Magic: If I had to pick a sleeper team to make the playoffs, I would pick them. I don't know why, there's just something about them that's appealing. Dwight Howard is an absolute monster and he's just scraping his ceiling. He could pull down 16-18 rebounds a game, I'm convinced of this. If he can develop a face up jumper he could be like Karl Malone, except with a vertical leap, better open court finishing skills and he wouldn't throw cheap elbows....there I said it. I'm also thinking they can win because they got the hell rid of Steve Francis who in so many ways epitomizes what's wrong with the league. Guy with a ton of ability, wants to play the point when he really is a two-guard, could care less about setting up his teammates with easy shots and seems like he could snap and punch some one out at any moment. So yeah, without him I think things could be smoother in Orlando. This next part may sound funny, in fact it might sound borderline retarted (well look at the source on that one), but I think a portion of their success will hinge on, get this, are you ready? OK, here we go....Darko Milicic. Yup, the same guy who was drafted between LeBron and Carmelo and three picks ahead of Dwayne Wade. His numbers weren't that spectacular (7.6ppg 4.1rpg), but he averaged over two blocks a game and has apparently added 15 pounds of muscle. It'll give Howard some one else to bang with the other team's big guys down low (no offense Tony Battie....well can you really offend Tony Battie, I think no, but I digress) and some interior defense. And hey, if he gets some minutes, maybe he'll get some confidence, not something Larry Brown, his coach in Detroit, is known for doling out. I also like watching Jameer Nelson play. Small guy, scrappy as hell, can fly up and down the floor and can shoot the ball very well. Of course there is the subject of Grant Hill. If healthy this team could creep into the playoffs and if not, well it'll be a little harder. Also a big questions is when Keyon Dooling will stab someone during actual game action....I have no basis for this thought, it's just the more I see Dooling play the more I am convinced he's very mentally unstable. Again, no actual incidents to make me feel this way, just a hunch. He's kind of like that guy that shows up at a party that no one knows, hangs around the beer and acts like he's going to stuff a bunch inside his jacket and make off with it so you watch him like a hawk and even though he doesn't end up taking any you still find him creepy and you don't trust him....wow, I've devoted way too much time to Keyon Dooling, my apologies. There's also former Duke golden boy JJ Reddick is on this team or as I like to refer to him, Steve Kerr: The Rebirth. Essentially, he'll be a spot up guy, like Kerr was, but a little bit more athletic. If they can get anything going in the post with Howard & Milicic and they can teach those two to pass out of the post then he should be good for like at least a dozen a night. On the negative he's already had back and ankle (I think?) injuries and last I checked opening night was still about two weeks away. That and he would have trouble guarding a coat rack. On the plus side with him though, he already has down the NBA whining scheme, as nearly every player that comes out of Duke does. Then again with the new rules that could result in him getting T'ed up which would be fun. But yeah, I like the Magic, I think they could do some good things you might even say magi.....you thought I was going to make that joke, didn't you?

Washington Wizards: This just in, Gilbert Arenas feels disrespectd....again. If you don't follow the NBA, Arenas has built his entire career on being disrespected. Got nothing against that or him, great offensive player, has obviously worked hard to get where he is, just stop thinking everytime something doesn't go your way that it's a sign of disrespect. It's a boring storyline, it's an overdone storyline, please lets stop. You don't see me getting mad everytime the people at McDonalds assume I can't eat a 20 piece nugget and large fry. More love, less hate. As for the rest of the roster, there's Antawn Jamison who can play in blocks and more out of necessity because of creaky knees has become a pretty good perimeter shooter....notice the use of the word shooter because he's definetly not a perimeter player, just a shooter. Brendan Haywood is in the middle and he can be best surmised as follows. He's seven feet tall and he looks like an oversized baby, runs about as fast as a baby and more often than not he plays and whines like a baby....and yes this is a professional sports league that I watch voluntarily. I never said I was smart, in fact more often than not I say that I'm stupid....I have no idea where I'm going with this....moving on. I look at the rest of their roster and I have no idea how the hell they made the playoffs each of the last two years and why they could make it again this year. Other than Antonio Daniels there's not much else to like....well maybe Caron Butler, but he and Drew Gooden seem to have been spawned out of the same basketball pond where any given game they could look like an all-star at their position and then the next they look like the guy who should be waving the towel on the bench. So yeah, this might be one of the most wasteful paragraphs I've ever typed, but I had to do something on the Wizards, right?

Miami Heat: The Defending Champion Miami Heat....still doesn't seem to fit, but it's true. This roster seems like it was put together during a fantasy draft when the guy picking the team was bombed out of his tree. Instead it was put together by Pat Riley who has enough championship rings for an entire hand. It used to be you could never bet against a team with Shaq, but I think we're getting closer to where that's a reality. Nothing against the big guy, but his knees are getting creaky and if creaky knees really bother guys that are 6' tall and weigh 195, I'd hate to think what the creaky knees on a 7' 1" 300lbs feel like. You just can't count out a team with Dwayne Wade....it's impossible to do. He some how covers up Antoine Walker's horrendous shot selection, Jason Williams' shakey decision making, Gary Payton's age and the fact that James Posey is, well Jame Posey, just one of those guys you watch and you go, "How did he get into the NBA?" Last year we heard about how this was a team full of verterans hungry for a title and we saw it as they closed out the series against Dallas in the finals. I still believe that if Alonzo Mourning and Walker were given weapons to use while on the court during the finals last year they would have used them without hesitating. They weren't just possesed, they were something beyond it, something beyond intense, which is saying something, especially for Mourning who is so intense he scared his own kidney out of his body (too soon?) But yeah, hungry veterans last year, they won the title, so now the question is are they still hungry? I'm leaning towards yes, though after 30 games I think some one will cause bodily harm to Gary Payton....just have a feeling now that he has a ring he won't give a damn anymore and that will be his undoing. In all honesty the only reason he's survived the past couple of years, while playing on fumes, is because he gave a damn because he wanted to get a title. This year, with ring on hand, he shall give no damn and some one will give him a swift kick to the ass, I'm betting Michael Doleac, ok not betting, just hoping because no one would ever suspect Michael Doleac. But yeah, a team with a healthy Wade and a semi-healthy (60-65 games) Shaq is a beast in the east. Oh yeah, I like Udonis Haslem, plays bigger than his size, scraps with much bigger guys....he's kind of like a likeable Danny Fortson....or should I say Danny Fortson is and unlikeable Udonis Haslem....yeah that's better.

So there you have it, the Southeast division, for better or for worse. With the Hawks and Bobcats, I'm leaning towards worse. Alright, just for the hell of it, I'm going to try and predict a division finishing order, here goes nothing.

1. Miami - unless Wade goes down, then all bets are off
2. Orlando - Yup, my sleeper team, which means they'll probably finish 4th in the division
3. Washington - Yeah Gilbert, I picked your team 3rd in the division, please feel disrespected
4. Charlotte - Sorry, any team with Marvin Ely can not finish higher than 4th in their division, would in fact be lower if not for....
5. Atlanta - ....the fact they play in the same division as the Hawks

Alright, that's way too much time on the Southeast Division...another division coming your way sometime soon, so until then.....

How did I root for these guys?

Part of the joy about being home in the middle of the day is being able to watch whatever odd programming happens to be on. Today I'm enjoying a Red Sox game from 2000 when they took on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. It was a fight filled game that featured seven Devil Rays players and coaches being ejected and saw Pedro Martinez take a no-hitter into the 9th while retiring 24 straight at one point. While this was one of those magical Pedro games, as I watched it I seriously wondered how I rooted for this team. At the time of this game I was just 17, nearing 18 years of agae. Maybe it was my Red Sox faith that blinded me, but this was such a team a rejects and retreads I have no idea how I put my faith behind them. Lets examine them for a moment.

The Sox line-up went as follows:

1. RF - Trot Nixon - I love Trot Nixon, always have, but why was Nixon hitting leadoff? The simple answer was there was no else qualified enough in the Sox line-up to hit leadoff. I see this and I want to cry

2. 1B - Brian Daubach - He may be my favorite streaky hitter of all time. When he was on you couldn't shoot an asprin by him using a high powered assault rifle. When he was off a blind arthritic monkey could have gotten a beach ball past him. Not a bad guy to have hitting say 6th or 7th, but in this line-up he was hitting second, yikes.

3. CF - Carl Everett - Well there is the good and bad with this one. The good being in his first year he was an All-Star, hit .300 w/ 34HR's and 108RBI's and well that's where the good ends. It wasn't to far thereafter when he was saying he didn't believe in dinosaurs, talked about beating his kids and headbutted an umpire while arguing a call during family day at Fenway Park. All this being said I try not to talk bad about Everett not only because if I do he may hut me down and hit me with his car, but he broke up Mike Mussina's perfet game in the bottom of the 9th in Fenway as the Sox season tailspinned worse than the career of Michael Keaton (Remember when Michael Keaton played Batman? Twice? What the hell happened there?) So kudos to you Jurrasic Carl, now please never come near the Red Sox again.

4. SS - Nomar Garciaparra - This was back when Nomar was an icon, back before the injuries and the public sulking. He entered this game hitting .371 and he finished the season hitting .372, yup .372 I mean holy hell, that's beyond ridiculous for a hitter and with Nomar at this point in his career it was almost expected this was going to be the norm. No one saw what was coming, how could they? As it was with Williams and Dimaggio it was going to be with Nomar and Jeter. Six years later, Nomar was playing for Red Sox Light (the Dodgers) on the west coast and Jeter was busy trying to figure out how he could get A-Rod off the Yankees so they could start winning again. Quite simply, seeing Nomar like this makes me nostalgic for a moment, but then I remember the Sox won the World Series two years ago and if they hadn't traded him away to the Cubs the Sox may never have won the whole thing. It's amazing, as dumb as I am, sports find a way to make me stupider.

5. LF - Troy O'Leary - Expecting an Irish guy with a name like that, right? Nope he was black, just a fun side note. Anyway I have a hard time talking bad about my boy Troy. Why you ask? Well in Game 5 of the 1999 ALDS, Nomar homered in his first at bat of the game. Well when he came back up in the 3rd and runners on second and third, Nomar got a free pass to first and O'Leary followed with a grand slam. Later in the game, during the 7th inning with the game tied at 8 and a runner on second Nomar was again intentionally walked and O'Leary again hit a home run that put the Sox ahead for good. So with me Troy O'Leary is always good, kind of like how Brett Favre is with the rest of America.

6. DH - Scott Hatteberg - Not much against the guy but not much for him. Hit for a decent average, still does has; a nice OBP and can play 1st, catch or roam the outfield if needed, but he really doesn't have the qualities you want in a DH. I'll put it this way, Hatteberg is a lot like Saltines. Solid snack option, gets the job done, but it always seems to leave you wanting something more.

7. 3B - Lou Merloni - Local guy who was a fan favorite, even had his own chant of "Loooouuu" anytime he made a play or came to bat (eerily reminiscent of the current "Yoooouuuuk" chant for Kevin Youkilis but I digress). Never able to sustain a full season in the majors, not a bad utility guy, would have been perfect for the level of baseball between AAA and the majors, just like Jeff Suppan if such a level existed....wait a minute, you tell me Suppan won 44 games in the past three years for the Cardinals? Interesting, maybe such a baseball level does exist.
(Side note - Merloni sustained a mild concussion in this game during the first brawl and was replaced by Manny Alexander - I have neither the time or inclanation to rant about him right now, maybe another day).

8. C - Jason Varitek - O Captain My Captain. Can't talk bad about Tek. It'd be like talking bad about Jesus except blasphemus (avoiding thunderbolt thrown at me by God)

9. 2B - Mike Lansing - Where to begin with this ass-hole? Picked up in a trade about a month before this game he finished the season batting .194 w/a .230 OBP for the Sox. The kicker was he was only hitting .258 before the trade while playing for the Rockies in Coors Field. In case you didn't know a person with one arm could hit approximately .240 in Coors Field and to my knowledge Lansing had two good arms so he had no other excuse for his terrible numbers aside from the fact he was just a terrible baseball player. One of the great Dan Duquette moves of all time.

Also on the Sox roster at the time but not playing in this game:

Jose Offerman - Turned a good year with Kansas City into a 4-year deal with the Red Sox. Was actually an All-Star in his first year and then the next year he remembered he was Jose Offerman. While not horrendous at 2nd base defensively, he was pretty close and you know it's bad when you find yourself saying "Todd Walker isn't as bad at 2nd as I thought he would be," when in actuality he is pretty bad at 2nd....just not as bad as Offerman.

Dante Bichette - My friends and I used to call him Bitch-ette becauase that seemed to be all he ever did while in Boston, bitch. About his playing time, where he was being hit, on where everyone else was being hit, on why he hated puppies....ok he didn't really complain about puppies but you get the idea. This all from a guy who was brought in to provide some "veteran leadership"

Darren Lewis - His calling card was defense and I'm still convinced that if I could train enough to hit .250 then I could be the next Darren Lewis. All I need to do is win the lottery so I have enough time to concentrate on hitting .250 and not concentrate on getting a job.

Donnie Sadler - A former Sox farmhand who had blazing speed. He's one of the only people I've ever seen score or even attempt to from third base on a fly ball to left field in Fenway. Only problem was he couldn't hit (career .202 hitter) or get on base (career .262 OBP) so and he had only 25 SB's vs 12 CS's which shows he didn't know how to use his speed. For a contemporary comparison think of someone along the lines of Joey Gathright except a whole lot worse.

Israel Alcantara - Otherwise know as Izzy and actually well known for drop kicking a catcher during an at bat in the minors before charging the mound a couple of years after this game. Warrants mentioning these were the kind of guys the Sox were bringing up through their system.

Gary Gaetti - Yeah, he was on this team, for like a couple of weeks. He appeared in five games as a DH. By all accounts he was a nice guy, two time all star and somehow stuck around in the majors for nearly 20 years despite not being that good of a hitter or fielder. Just included him in this because I thought it would be fun.

The pitching staff outside of Pedro was scary to say the least. Ramon Martinez (Pedro's older brother) was the only pitcher with a record of over .500 of 10-8, but his ERA was just a shade over a touchdown, sans the extra point (6.13). The only other plus on the staff was a then failed starter working out of the bullpen named Derek Lowe who went on to lead the league in saves in 2000 with 42. In the coming years he would bring us mountains of joy and mountains of irritations and of course the irreplaceable Derek Lowe face.

Again, I look at this team and I try and figure out how the hell did I root for them? Was I secretly rooting for Pedro and he just happened to be jammed in with this collecetion of retreads? I don't think that's the case. I think once you dive in with a team, you're stuck with them through better and worse, thick and thin and believe me I've been through a lot of the thin. But I guess the bottom line is you stand by your team, if they truly are your team, even if their line-up is filled with guys you wouldn't want on your slow pitch softball team. Plus, if your team ever does get off the schnide it makes it that much more satisfying that you stuck with them. Plus, when you think things are going bad (finished 3rd in the division behind Toronto, who's closing next year? what'll happen with Manny? how are they going to get pitching help? what about the middle infield? etc. etc.) you can always look to teams and times like the one examined today and laugh and say "Well at least it's not like that anymore."

The moral of the story? Well, I don't know if there is one really. You could go with the sappy stick with your team through everything and they'll reward you eventually, but that's pretty much nullified if you're an Arizona Cardinals fan.

***Pop Quiz Question*** - How do you win a football game when your down by 20 points, turn the ball over 6 times and don't score a touchdown on offense?

***Answer*** - You make sure your opponent is the Arizona Cardinals (I watched that game last night and I still don't know how they could blow that one.)

Maybe in the end there is no moral and there is not point and maybe this is just me killing time on a rainy afternoon and I stole 5 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. But that's enough for now so until later.....