tid bits from the summer
The summer of announcing baseball games seems sooooooo long ago, yet there is so much from that remains fresh in my mind. Now just because I'm going to be griping and complaining about things and people does not mean I didn't enjoy it, in fact I had a great time. It's just easier to be sarcastic and somewhat funny about stupid things then it is to be about nice things. So here are some other fun tid-bits and odd details from broadcasting this summer.
Know the Rules of the Game:
Now when you broadcast anything sports wise you should know the rules of the event you are covering. That way if something happens within said rules you can correctly describe what is going on, explain it and clarify if the point is fuzzy. Actually this should be a rule for life, if you're going to be talking about something, you should know what the hell you are talking about so the amount of miscues that you make are minuscule at best because bobodys neferfect.
Now with all that in mind I came across a couple of times this summer when my partners for the evening had no idea what the hell they were talking about. To illustrate I will be giving you examples 1, 2 and 3; The Incredibly Inexcusable, The Inexcusable and the What the F$#k?
1. The Incredibly Inexcusable: In baseball if you draw a walk (the pitcher throws four pitches out of the strike zone called "balls" before you bat the ball into play or get three strike against you) it does not count as an at bat. Same thing if you are hit by a pitch. Lets say for example in the course of a game a batter gets a hit, walks once and grounds out. For that game he would be 1-for-2 with a walk. The one being his hit, the two being the two at bats (the hit and the ground out) and the walk being, well the walk. If you were to say he went 1-for-3 in the game well that would just be silly and incorrect. Now this might not be something a casual, very casual fan would know, but it's general baseball knowledge and it should be absolute baseball knowledge for someone being paid to talk about the game. Well believe it or not but there was a gentlemen I broadcast with this year who seemed not to be aware of this little proviso within the realm of baseball. He remarked when a batter came to the plate "...is 0-for-1 tonight, walking in his only appearance at the plate" You see that is very incorrect, the batter has not at bats on the night and has walked in his only plate appearance. This is a very basic rule in baseball one that any person who talks about the game should know, especially those whose job it is to talk about the game. It'd be like if Betty Crocker told you three teaspoons was a equal to a table spoon, she'd be close but she'd still be wrong.
2. The Inexcusable: In baseball there's something call the dropped third strike rule. Quite simply if you swing and miss at strike three or look at it and the catcher either, drops it, it gets by him or he traps or blocks a pitch in the dirt you can attempt to run to first base, provided a couple of important details. Now if the catcher tags the runner before they reach first or throw the ball to first before the runner gets there, he is out. The details of this can be a little tricky, so bear with me here. If there is a runner on first base and the third strike is dropped, then the batter is out and can not run to first base, that's a big thing, first base must be unoccupied, unless....ah yes this is the tricky part. Unless there are two outs in the inning, then it doesn't matter if first base in unoccupied or not the runner can go for first and he must either be tagged or thrown out. Again, a little tricky of a rule, but if you are being paid to talk about baseball then you had better damn well know it. Well, as chance would have it one of my broadcasting brethren was unaware of this. After a batter swung a pitch in the dirt with two out and a runner on first he said "...strikes out to end the inning, there's some confusion [the catcher] throws to first, but that's unnecessary and the strikeout ended the inning..." Well when we went to break I tried to be a nice guy and say, "You know, when there are two out, it doesn't matter if there's a runner on first, they have to throw down," to which I received the response "Are you sure, I've never heard of that before, I don't think that's right." During the following forty second of our break I tried to convince him that I was indeed correct while he tried to tell me he thought I indeed was not. I still haven't figured out if this was genuine stupidity or just ego telling this guy not to admit he was wrong. Again, if you're talking about baseball this is a rule you should know, hands down. In fact before being hired for any type of sports announcing job they should force potential candidates to take a quiz on the rules of the game they will be talking about, that way they can avoid moments like this and the next one.
3. What the F$#k?: This one isn't so much about a rule as it is general broadcasting. To describe this guy as a piece of work is kind of like saying the grand canyon is a big hole in the ground. Both could be described as accurate statements but neither would truly get the point across about either. To describe the way this guy did games as a train wreck would unkind to train wrecks. Think of a train wreck mixed in with a 30 car pile up and an entire flock of birds (seagulls perhaps?) perishing in the air and falling onto the crash site. Think of listening to someone who was constantly mispronouncing names, misidentifying the pitch count and players, yelling when something exciting happens, that yelling often leading them not to pay attention to what's going on so they describe something that isn't actually happening and telling jokes that your grandfather would rolls his eyes at. Also imagine if you will, someone constantly guzzling something when they weren't talking. This I don't have a problem with as long as they moved the microphone away from their mouth or turned it down so it didn't pick up the sound. But guess what, they didn't ever and it sounds kind bad when you say "here's the 1-2 pitch..." and there's a large slurping noise after the word pitch. Makes things sound kind of, well, bad. On the plus side, after having a bad game then working with this individual you feel like you the best broadcaster in the world.
Know How to Read...or maybe you can read, you're just an idiot:
Every stadium had a PA announcer and before every game they would go over how to say the opposing players names, hometowns, etc. Makes sense, I did the same thing. Generally speaking I was able to get down most names and whatnot without a hitch and if I messed it up it was at least close. Well there was one PA announcer who, lets just say had a rough go of it. I'm convinced this guy could mispronounce the word "the" or even "I". No matter how explicitly I went over pronunciations of of players and their info he would screw it up. Even if I wrote it out for him phonetically he would still screw it up. It was like his eyes couldn't sync up with the part of his brain where the correct pronunciations were stored and his mouth was too impatient to wait for it to be found so it just spouted out whatever it wanted to. Did I forget to mention they tried to add tone and inflection to some of the names to sound like some super cool announcer guy? Yeah, that never works out well. You either were given a voice that could level a room that's good for announcing or weren't. If you weren't don't pretend you were it just sounds stupid. So stick with the voice you got or drink and ass load of whiskey until you have the raspy boom you desire. In fact as a PA announce your first job shouldn't be to sound cool, it should be to read things right, so until you can get that part down don't bother trying to do anything else.
This is Creeping Me Out:
There was this one guy I worked with who for long periods of time wouldn't talk when he wasn't doing the play by play. Now I'm not saying you should be talking all the time, in fact most times it's better not to say something, you know that whole less is more thing. But if it's been like a 10-15 minute inning it would be OK to chime in every now and again, especially if it's your team that's batting and you could fill in with some interesting details and whatnot. Alright, maybe I'm being a little over the top here, you don't want to talk that's fine, but why are you looking at me every time I turn my head around? Why do you nod in agreement with things I say but not actually say anything? Why do you smile and bounce your shoulders when I say something funny but you don't laugh. Are you going to wait for me in the parking lot after the game and come after me with a lead pipe, because that's the vibe I'm kind of getting.
Can You Pronounce this Word?:
The team I announced for this summer had the following word in it's name - quarry. Do you know how to say that word? I would hope so, it's quite simple, if not here it is. KW followed by OR and ended with EEE. Yet somehow this simple word was beyond the grasp of some this summer. They somehow got KWAIR - EEE, which I guess I can kind of see. But here's the funny thing, after hearing the guy you're working with say it the correct way, a lot wouldn't you shift the way you say it over the course of the game? Or ask the guy, is that how you really say it? See I would answer yes to both of those, but that's just me. I guess some people would just rather sound silly then correct or sound like they have a speech impediment. I mean it was only radio what does it matter what you sound like?
Well methinks that's enough ranting for one night. I apologize if I come across as a bit mean in this whole thing, it's meant to be more sarcastic then mean. I also suppose I could be a bigger man and not write about this stuff, but the whole reason I do this thing is so I can get out all that I want to ramble about without making people's ears bleed, just their eyes. So yeah, that's all until next time....
Know the Rules of the Game:
Now when you broadcast anything sports wise you should know the rules of the event you are covering. That way if something happens within said rules you can correctly describe what is going on, explain it and clarify if the point is fuzzy. Actually this should be a rule for life, if you're going to be talking about something, you should know what the hell you are talking about so the amount of miscues that you make are minuscule at best because bobodys neferfect.
Now with all that in mind I came across a couple of times this summer when my partners for the evening had no idea what the hell they were talking about. To illustrate I will be giving you examples 1, 2 and 3; The Incredibly Inexcusable, The Inexcusable and the What the F$#k?
1. The Incredibly Inexcusable: In baseball if you draw a walk (the pitcher throws four pitches out of the strike zone called "balls" before you bat the ball into play or get three strike against you) it does not count as an at bat. Same thing if you are hit by a pitch. Lets say for example in the course of a game a batter gets a hit, walks once and grounds out. For that game he would be 1-for-2 with a walk. The one being his hit, the two being the two at bats (the hit and the ground out) and the walk being, well the walk. If you were to say he went 1-for-3 in the game well that would just be silly and incorrect. Now this might not be something a casual, very casual fan would know, but it's general baseball knowledge and it should be absolute baseball knowledge for someone being paid to talk about the game. Well believe it or not but there was a gentlemen I broadcast with this year who seemed not to be aware of this little proviso within the realm of baseball. He remarked when a batter came to the plate "...is 0-for-1 tonight, walking in his only appearance at the plate" You see that is very incorrect, the batter has not at bats on the night and has walked in his only plate appearance. This is a very basic rule in baseball one that any person who talks about the game should know, especially those whose job it is to talk about the game. It'd be like if Betty Crocker told you three teaspoons was a equal to a table spoon, she'd be close but she'd still be wrong.
2. The Inexcusable: In baseball there's something call the dropped third strike rule. Quite simply if you swing and miss at strike three or look at it and the catcher either, drops it, it gets by him or he traps or blocks a pitch in the dirt you can attempt to run to first base, provided a couple of important details. Now if the catcher tags the runner before they reach first or throw the ball to first before the runner gets there, he is out. The details of this can be a little tricky, so bear with me here. If there is a runner on first base and the third strike is dropped, then the batter is out and can not run to first base, that's a big thing, first base must be unoccupied, unless....ah yes this is the tricky part. Unless there are two outs in the inning, then it doesn't matter if first base in unoccupied or not the runner can go for first and he must either be tagged or thrown out. Again, a little tricky of a rule, but if you are being paid to talk about baseball then you had better damn well know it. Well, as chance would have it one of my broadcasting brethren was unaware of this. After a batter swung a pitch in the dirt with two out and a runner on first he said "...strikes out to end the inning, there's some confusion [the catcher] throws to first, but that's unnecessary and the strikeout ended the inning..." Well when we went to break I tried to be a nice guy and say, "You know, when there are two out, it doesn't matter if there's a runner on first, they have to throw down," to which I received the response "Are you sure, I've never heard of that before, I don't think that's right." During the following forty second of our break I tried to convince him that I was indeed correct while he tried to tell me he thought I indeed was not. I still haven't figured out if this was genuine stupidity or just ego telling this guy not to admit he was wrong. Again, if you're talking about baseball this is a rule you should know, hands down. In fact before being hired for any type of sports announcing job they should force potential candidates to take a quiz on the rules of the game they will be talking about, that way they can avoid moments like this and the next one.
3. What the F$#k?: This one isn't so much about a rule as it is general broadcasting. To describe this guy as a piece of work is kind of like saying the grand canyon is a big hole in the ground. Both could be described as accurate statements but neither would truly get the point across about either. To describe the way this guy did games as a train wreck would unkind to train wrecks. Think of a train wreck mixed in with a 30 car pile up and an entire flock of birds (seagulls perhaps?) perishing in the air and falling onto the crash site. Think of listening to someone who was constantly mispronouncing names, misidentifying the pitch count and players, yelling when something exciting happens, that yelling often leading them not to pay attention to what's going on so they describe something that isn't actually happening and telling jokes that your grandfather would rolls his eyes at. Also imagine if you will, someone constantly guzzling something when they weren't talking. This I don't have a problem with as long as they moved the microphone away from their mouth or turned it down so it didn't pick up the sound. But guess what, they didn't ever and it sounds kind bad when you say "here's the 1-2 pitch..." and there's a large slurping noise after the word pitch. Makes things sound kind of, well, bad. On the plus side, after having a bad game then working with this individual you feel like you the best broadcaster in the world.
Know How to Read...or maybe you can read, you're just an idiot:
Every stadium had a PA announcer and before every game they would go over how to say the opposing players names, hometowns, etc. Makes sense, I did the same thing. Generally speaking I was able to get down most names and whatnot without a hitch and if I messed it up it was at least close. Well there was one PA announcer who, lets just say had a rough go of it. I'm convinced this guy could mispronounce the word "the" or even "I". No matter how explicitly I went over pronunciations of of players and their info he would screw it up. Even if I wrote it out for him phonetically he would still screw it up. It was like his eyes couldn't sync up with the part of his brain where the correct pronunciations were stored and his mouth was too impatient to wait for it to be found so it just spouted out whatever it wanted to. Did I forget to mention they tried to add tone and inflection to some of the names to sound like some super cool announcer guy? Yeah, that never works out well. You either were given a voice that could level a room that's good for announcing or weren't. If you weren't don't pretend you were it just sounds stupid. So stick with the voice you got or drink and ass load of whiskey until you have the raspy boom you desire. In fact as a PA announce your first job shouldn't be to sound cool, it should be to read things right, so until you can get that part down don't bother trying to do anything else.
This is Creeping Me Out:
There was this one guy I worked with who for long periods of time wouldn't talk when he wasn't doing the play by play. Now I'm not saying you should be talking all the time, in fact most times it's better not to say something, you know that whole less is more thing. But if it's been like a 10-15 minute inning it would be OK to chime in every now and again, especially if it's your team that's batting and you could fill in with some interesting details and whatnot. Alright, maybe I'm being a little over the top here, you don't want to talk that's fine, but why are you looking at me every time I turn my head around? Why do you nod in agreement with things I say but not actually say anything? Why do you smile and bounce your shoulders when I say something funny but you don't laugh. Are you going to wait for me in the parking lot after the game and come after me with a lead pipe, because that's the vibe I'm kind of getting.
Can You Pronounce this Word?:
The team I announced for this summer had the following word in it's name - quarry. Do you know how to say that word? I would hope so, it's quite simple, if not here it is. KW followed by OR and ended with EEE. Yet somehow this simple word was beyond the grasp of some this summer. They somehow got KWAIR - EEE, which I guess I can kind of see. But here's the funny thing, after hearing the guy you're working with say it the correct way, a lot wouldn't you shift the way you say it over the course of the game? Or ask the guy, is that how you really say it? See I would answer yes to both of those, but that's just me. I guess some people would just rather sound silly then correct or sound like they have a speech impediment. I mean it was only radio what does it matter what you sound like?
Well methinks that's enough ranting for one night. I apologize if I come across as a bit mean in this whole thing, it's meant to be more sarcastic then mean. I also suppose I could be a bigger man and not write about this stuff, but the whole reason I do this thing is so I can get out all that I want to ramble about without making people's ears bleed, just their eyes. So yeah, that's all until next time....
posted by MC at 5:07 PM
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